wrinkled wing

[asakiyume]

I've spend the last two-and-a-half days thinking about and trying to care for a butterfly who came out of its crysalis with a malformed wing. It's as if something got wrapped around the wing and pinched it. Here's the picture I took on the day I noticed it (two days ago):



That day was a sunny day and warm, a good day to enter the butterfly stage of your life and take flight. At first I thought, maybe it can pump enough fluid into that wrinkled wing to get it to unfold. But no, it couldn't.

So it was doomed. It was never going to be flying anywhere. Butterfly raising web pages told me I could make a pet out of it, or I could euthanize it (methods described, nothing awful but the concept was very depressing)--or, unstated, but clearly a choice, I could just leave it be, in which case it would die all on its own.

It was such a sunny day. This is life in the world as a butterfly, friend, I wanted to say. You can't fly, so your life is destined to be quite brief, but I hope you really love this sun. It must feel strange not to be a caterpillar anymore.

Then yesterday was rainy and cold. The butterfly hung on to its spot all day. I brought it flowers because one thing the butterfly raising pages said was you could offer a newly hatched butterfly an array of flowers. But it was too cold a day, maybe, for the butterfly to try to test out the flowers. And I don't know how long the nectar stays nectar-y after the flowers are cut.

Today is sunny (ish), and the butterfly was walking about a little. I read on the butterfly pages about making a honey-water or sugar-water mixture. Put it in a saucer and let them taste it with their feet, the page said. When they realize what it is, they will drink some, if they feel like it.






So I made some honey-water and held it where the butterfly could taste it, and it did taste it, and then climbed onto my hand--but when I lifted my hand, it fell fluttering off--but then gamely caught hold of a twig and started climbing up again. I tried again to interest it in the honey-water, and again it climbed onto my hand. I thought I'd carry it over to a stand of cosmos--then it could do the butterfly thing of drinking nectar, have another experience of life as a butterfly before it died. So I walked very slowly and carefully, and the butterfly sat on my hand, calm.

And then a big gust of wind came and carried it off, I don't know where. I looked around my yard, but couldn't see it. But I'm thinking, this means it even--sort of--experienced flight, a little.

I'm glad to have known this butterfly.

Meanwhile, I have a chrysalis on the siding of my house that's just about ready to hatch. I hope it will be healthy and able to fly.

Comments

[sartorias]

It did get to fly, just a little. Maybe the wind wafted it to a safe place, and it would get a bit more.

[asakiyume]

That's what I'm hoping.

[rebeccmeister]

I'm reminded of a storybook I've seen but not read:

https://www.amazon.com/Crickwing-Janell-Cannon/dp/0152050612

[asakiyume]

Wow, I see why! Who knows what adventures await my butterfly!

[osprey_archer]

This is so beautiful and so sad. I'm glad the butterfly got to enjoy a little honey water and to climb your hand - exploring a little of its world.

[asakiyume]

Thanks--what you're feeling is what I'm feeling, so I guess this whole writing thing worked, in this case. I was able to share successfully.

[kore]

This is sad and hopeful sort of at the same time. Lovely.

[asakiyume]

This is sad and hopeful sort of at the same time. LIKE LIFE omg I am in some sort of mood today...

[adore]

this reconciled me to life a little more. my heart was wrung, but bittersweetly, because the way you wrote it is so warm.

[asakiyume]

💛 💛 💛

I'm really glad ^_^

[zdenka]

Oh, the poor thing! Though it might do okay for a little while, if nothing eats it. Maybe it can walk across the ground and climb up a tree or bush and get at a few flowers that way . . . It was very kind of you to help it get some butterfly experiences!

[asakiyume]

The update is that I found him** later in the day in my yard. I put him on some flowers, and he hung out there most of the day. Then he fluttered onto me again and crawled up to my shoulder--and then I thought he'd been blown off again, but later in the evening I found him on the kitchen floor, so I've now set him on some ironing in my study, with a sugar-water soaked towel. Tomorrow if it's warm again, I'll set him back outside, if he's still alive.

... I am doing hospice for a butterfly...

**In the process of all this I've found out how to tell the sex of a butterfly, and this one is a male.

[zdenka]

Aww, it's good that he got to enjoy the flowers! I hope he enjoys his butterfly life, however long or short it is.

[umadoshi]

I'm glad he has you there. <3

[asakiyume]

;_; I hope I'm a good companion

[rachelmanija]

You just made me cry over a doomed butterfly getting to experience flight.

[asakiyume]

I know. ;_; I hesitated to post because it's so sad, but even while it's wringing my heart I feel like it's also something about how even doomed lives can be good lives (... not that I know whether or not the butterfly's life has been a good one.... my anthropomorphism is NO HELP on that question)

[wayfaringwordhack]

Yes to what everyone else said about the sadness mixed with beauty and hope. Thanks for sharing this engaged brush with the life of another.

[asakiyume]

Thank you so much for being here as someone I can share my feelings with.

[minoanmiss]

This post delighted not just me but a nurse with whom I’m sharing a lunchroom with.

[asakiyume]

Thank you so much for sharing it ^_^

[lokifan]

<3 It flew, I think. I hope it liked it - it felt the wind and knew this was a good place for it to be, in the air, or might've been.

This is a beautiful post. Thanks for helping it experience more of the world.

[asakiyume]

I hope so, I really hope so. Thanks for reading--it's been a big part of my life for these days.

[smokingboot]

❤️

[asakiyume]

🥰