whole goat

Sep. 27th, 2026 10:44 pm
asakiyume: (feathers on the line)
R, the mother of four I was fundraising for earlier in the year, said to me the other day that she'd like to buy a whole goat, and could I please find out for her where she could get one.

So I did a little research, and it looks like the best bet is maybe Halal Meat Boston. There is a place closer to us that also sells whole goats, but it's pricier. (Although, since the Halal Meat Boston place is further and doesn't deliver to our location, it might end up being worth it to buy closer to us.)

Goat from the Halal Meat Boston goat page

tan-colored goat looks directly at camera


The kids were disappointed we weren't talking about getting a live goat.
asakiyume: (shaft of light)
I finished Annihilation.

I liked it--in a kind of detached way that matches the narrator's own affect. Her remote, cerebral tone was, for me, an effective way of conveying strangeness; it gave me a good-for-the-story sense of vague discomfort.

But one thing struck me as hilarious, and it was how golden-wonderful the narrator's transformation was compared with every other transformation we read about on the page. This is from what I put up on Goodreads:

It sure was something that the biologist’s transformation involves immunity to hypnotic suggestion, heightened senses, superfast healing, and, per another team member, glowing:
”You were a flame," she said, and I had a brief vision of my brightness, made manifest. "You were a flame, scorching my gaze. A flame drifting across the salt flats, though the ruined village. A slow-burning flame, a will-o'-the-wisp."

Other people, mind you, get turned into some kind of giant molting crustacean that moans, or fused with a dolphin. Our narrator has some pretty high-powered Mary Sue specialness going on. I definitely want the biologist’s transformations, not the crustacean guy’s.


Remember, when signing up to go into Area X, ask for the slow-burning flame package, not the crustacean package.
asakiyume: The Red Detachment of Women (1961, Xie Jin) (emancipating collectively)
We finished watching this. So sad it's over! I loved it so much in every way. It was like it was made for me.

Chang Yu, the orphaned daughter of a butcher, is gifted with incredible strength ... and also has received some pretty impressive martial training from her dad. Was he maybe not the humble man he claimed to be? Perhaps?

She rescues a man left for dead in the snow, a caravan guard attacked by bandits, she assumes, and he doesn't contradict her, though he does know an awful lot about all sorts of things and has fabulous calligraphy. Is he maybe of higher status than he lets on? Just maybe?

I loved the sweet interactions between these two; I loved how righteous and strong Chang Yu is; I loved the strong female friendships in the story (no romantic rivalries whatsoever, THANK GOD); loved the complicated court machinations, the secondary characters and their side stories, the gang Chang Yu collects, and the conclusion.

Then at the very very end, there's an alternate-timeline what-if story of how everyone's lives could have been if things had gone differently. So interesting! My question for those of you who watch C-dramas regularly is, is that sort of thing common? I thought it was a cool twist.

Trailer (this is all in Chinese, but Netflix has subtitles, and you can probably get it on YouTube with subtitles as well).

Now I've persuaded Wakanomori to watch Legend of the Magnate with me (many thanks to [personal profile] skygiants for posting about this! I'm loving it too!) I'm a quarter of the way through but happy to go back and start over so Wakanomori can enjoy it too.

(No C-drama icon, so it's the Red Detachment of Women up there instead.)
asakiyume: (Iowa Girl)
R's younger son Y broke his arm at the elbow over the summer, and he hasn't quite gotten back full mobility, so he's having some PT. The first visit was last week, and the second visit was this past Friday. I drive them there and stay to help out with communication.

At the first session, the therapist came forward, a friendly-seeming person with very short brown hair, smooth skin on the face, and stocky build. I thought of them as female. But their voice was pretty deep, and when they described what they were doing and I was explaining in simpler language to R, I stopped myself from saying "She's saying ... " and instead said, "The therapist is saying..." After a couple of instances of this, it felt awkward, so I did the thing: I said to the therapist, "Excuse me, I have a question. What pronouns would you like?" And the therapist smiled kind of embarrassedly and said, "Oh, she-her."

So then I referred to the therapist as "she," and R looked at me incredulously, but didn't say anything. Afterward, at her house, R said, "The therapist--woman? But no ..." and she indicated her own chest and the distinction between her breasts and the rest of her torso, i.e., no differentiation. But she accepted that. I had the therapist's business card: the name was a typically female name starting with L.

So then this past Friday we went, and the therapist was working with another client but Y come in and called out a greeting to him. "Do you remember L?" I asked, using the female name.

"Oh, it's [typically male name beginning with L] now," the therapist said with a grin.

"Oh!" I said. "And ... the pronouns?"

"He-they," the therapist said. "All the paperwork came through."

"Oh! Great, congratulations!"

But then I needed to type a message into Google Translate for R: "Last week I said the therapist was a woman but the therapist is a man."** Because after R's incredulity--but then acceptance--the week before, I wanted her to be aware that things were not that way after all.

**Crafting sentences for Google Translate takes some work because the translation between English and R's language isn't great. I have to always do a reverse check to see if it's coming out with what I want, and sometimes it doesn't. Making sure all the referents are very clear seems to help.
asakiyume: (feathers on the line)
Apparently since August the Great Elephant Migration sculptures have been on display in Boston, and they're leaving tomorrow. So, Boston-adjacent people, if you want to see them...

... But if you're not going to be able to, [personal profile] yamamanama has a post with beautiful photos of them, here.

I saw a monarch caterpillar, quite big, happily eating a milkweed leaf in my yard. I was delighted, because though I've seen females around laying eggs, I hadn't seen any caterpillars. Live long and prosper, little guy!

you can see the head of a caterpillar in a hole in the leaf that it's eating.
asakiyume: (Em reading)
The short story is by Maria Haskins, "The Fall of the Automatous Abbey," a very quick, very touching read. The protagonist is Seal, a cleaning bot:
Being a cleaning bot meant cleaning, and Seal knew its purpose, none better. It was the same purpose it had chosen all those years ago when the Mechanical Forces first liberated it from servitude in the asteroid mines and brought it to the Abbey to be rebooted into freedom by the Abbess.

The Abbey is destroyed, leaving Seal alone--except for a swarm of nanobots:
Occasionally, Seal’s path intersected with glitching swarms of nanobots that had previously followed the guidance of the Abbess, performing tasks of minor repair and maintenance. Some of these swarms attached themselves to Seal ... and ... wrought small, seemingly disjointed changes to its circuitry and processes ...Their alterations also provided Seal with a new map-layer to help locate the dwindling number of functional charging ports.

It's very short, just 1500-some words.

I've made progress on Annihilation as well and am musing on what it means to have a narrator who's compromised from the beginning.

( mild spoilers ahead, in the sense that I'm talking about the story as I read it, so I'm revealing things that happen )

So you have a disoriented, disorienting narrator giving you a warped impression of a strange and warping place.

It's cool.
asakiyume: (Em reading)
I had to spend some time at Logan airport yesterday, so I brought along Annhiliation by Jeff VanderMeer. The movie has been such a touchstone for me, I felt like I needed to read the book--even though I have it on authority from [personal profile] rachelmanija that the book and the movie have different vibes.

So far, though (by which I mean, 9 pages in on the paperback), I'm enjoying it:
The beauty of [the somber landscape] cannot be understood, either, and when you see beauty in desolation it changes something inside you. Desolation tries to colonize you.


And
We had also been ordered not to share our journal entries with one another. Too much shared information could skew our observations, our superiors believed. But I knew from experience how hopeless this pursuit, this attempt to weed out bias, was. Nothing that lived and breathed was truly objective.


I also recently finished the third of Malka Older's Pleiti and Mossa investigator tales. The setting is humanity's extensive settlement of the upper reaches of Jupiter (by means of platforms and atmoshields); the characters are an Investigator (Mossa) and an academic (Pleiti). You could call this series a cozy lesbian Holmes and Watson in Spaaace, and it *is* that, but it's Malka Older, so it's more than that as well. I've been following a through-line in the stories that amounts to "But what if we were profoundly wrong," which is not something that usually gets raised in novels, especially cozy ones, but I like seeing it happen in this series because it definitely was something I wondered about at the end of the first novella.

But beyond that, I really, really loved the send-up of academia in this third installment, The Potency of Ungovernable Impulses, e.g., a common academic greeting is "Publish much?" In this one, a brilliant and naively goodhearted academic friend of Pleiti's has been offered a donship exceptionally early in her career, but someone is trying to sabotage her ... Pleiti goes off alone to try to help because Mossa is emotionally unavailable at that moment, and a good part of the story is about the two of them coming to an understanding about why that happened and what that means and what going forward will look like. I really liked that: I've been in both Pleiti and Mossa's positions in relationships, and I felt for them both intensely.

And it's got great humor:
"You can't hold yourself responsible for not knowing better than the entire academy of Classics."

"You underestimate me," I responded drily.


Also, observe the following adverbs:
A rather gangly and tactically tousled man


And

As we sipped our tea Hoghly complained contentedly to me about all sorts of irritants.


And I liked the portmanteau "gradudent" for "graduate student"
asakiyume: The Red Detachment of Women (1961, Xie Jin) (emancipating collectively)
Well here's a rarity! I can announce a publication, my story "The Road from Windy to Dragonroot," in Luna Station Quarterly no. 67.

It's a story about postconflict pain and healing: two insurgents from different factions of the winning coalition work together to repair the road between their two villages. Oh, and one of them is a mountain spirit.

Unfortunately Luna Station Quarterly isn't free to read, but you can get it for as little as $3.00 from Gumroad if you're inclined ;-)

Here's the link to the page about the issue (many other stories sound interesting!) Same page has links to different buying options.

I think the zine intends to promote a story at a time, maybe, because they asked me for things like my favorite line, which ... what? How do you answer that? But I offered this line:

“Humans listen best to other humans,” said the voice on the other end of the radio. “And it’s easier in human form to talk in ways humans understand, like with words and wars.”
asakiyume: (feathers on the line)
There's nothing to unify these--you can dip in as you please.

( I reread a book )

( adolescent cardinals )

( nighthawks )

These next are not under cuts because they're photos.

Tobacco-drying season
I remember when we moved here how surprised I was to learn that tobacco is grown here, but it is. Connecticut River Valley tobacco is used for cigar wrappers. They hang the tobacco in these barns and then take out every other wall slat to let the air pass through to dry the leaves.

A tobacco barn with its doors open so you can see the drying tobacco, plus fields

tobacco drying in a tobacco barn

My sweetcorn
I grew like five corn plants. This is usually a disaster because the kernels of corn only develop if each and every strand of silk is pollinated by the stuff that falls from the top of the corn, which is hard to have happen when you're relying on just the wind and when you only have five plants. But I shook the top part of the corn into my hand and pressed the stuff that fell onto the corn silk, and look at this pretty ear of corn!

A perfect little ear of corn

The kernels are a little small, maybe, but they are all there! Each strand of silk must have gotten what it needed.
asakiyume: (Hades)
This is not typical Asakiyume viewing fare, but when a good friend of mine whom I see only rarely asked me to go see it with her, I said yes, because she often suggests things I wouldn't otherwise see, and they're always worth seeing.

And this was too! It was hilarious, and I enjoyed it a lot. I did have ... I think the thing one says is "notes"? I had some notes. But overall, I thought it was great. But now I need people who have seen it! Wakanomori will never in a million years watch it. Some of my kids would like it and would have things to say about it, but they haven't watched it YET.

So ... anyone among my friends list seen it? We saw it at an independent theater, and the audience was the best. At one point, when the characters were watching the original Camp Miasma** film, the film froze in real life, and the screen went blank. "All we need now is for someone in here to scream," someone said, and we all laughed. Turned out the theater had stopped the film to turn on captions. This was good because otherwise how would we know when the music was ominous and when it was melancholy?

This is a link to the shorter of two trailers on Youtube. The longer one reveals way too much!

**I am so unfamiliar with slasher movies that I thought there really was a real Camp Miasma franchise and that this movie was actually a self-referential remake! Nope!

providence

Aug. 16th, 2026 10:31 pm
asakiyume: (God)
Today Wakanomori was flying out of Logan Airport, not my favorite place in the world to drive to. Probably in my top three least-favorite places to drive to. Hmmm .... let me distract myself trying to think what might the other two might be ...

No. I will stick on topic. Wakanomori actually drove the car there; I only had to drive it back. He parked in Central Parking, but said I didn't need to come in with him, so we said goodbye right there in the garage and he went in. But then I realized I needed to go in anyway, to prepay for my brief stay, and since I was going in, I thought I'd catch up to him and say another goodbye.

He'd parked right by a set of doors leading to the terminals, so I went in and was indeed able to catch him, then went back, prepaid for my parking (it was actually free--I thought they charged $10 just for entering the garage, but apparently not!), and exited to go back to the car.

And couldn't find it. I went out the same doors I'd come in, but there was no sign of the car. I knew we'd parked right by the doors, so this was very mysterious. Could I somehow have come out other doors? I walked along the cars to another set of doors, but no, those were wrong (and also the car wasn't there). I went back and forth a few times, mystified.

Then I realized that there was more parking on the other side of the first set of doors. I'd come out at the right place, but wrong side. So I went back, went in, and came out the other side. Sure enough, there was the car.

I got in, put on my seat belt, and several messages pinged on my phone. It was Wakanomori. Help! He didn't have his phone! (He was sending messages from his iPad.) Was it in the car?

I've only just gotten back to the car, I messaged. When I hit send, I heard a ping from within the car, so I knew yes, W's phone was here. I told him so and told him to come back to the car, but to be careful to leave through the doors that indicated LL-ZZ parking, not AA-KK parking. When he arrived, I said,

"It's providence that I was here when you messaged. If I hadn't gone out the wrong side and spent several minutes looking for the car, I'd have already been on the highway."

I don't think I've ever used the word "providence" to describe something that happened to me before. And really, I could have said "good luck" instead. It was good luck. But it was a weird good luck, because when I was searching for the car, it didn't feel like good luck at all; it was disorienting and anxiety-producing. But because of that delay, I was there. It was like an unseen hand had created the obstacle to make sure we did connect.
asakiyume: (feathers on the line)
The state highway from my town to the next town over has a lot of wooded land on either side. Sometimes bits of it get developed, but it's pretty hilly, so mainly it doesn't. Recently, though, a spot was cleared, and lo and behold, a hidden, abandoned house was revealed, a little mountain cabin with a porch with a roof. It had been totally hidden before.

A sort of Sleeping Beauty situation ... clear away the thorns and there's a castle.

Illustration from Felix Hoffmann's Sleeping Beauty
All that shows of Sleeping Beauty's castle is a window, with her sleeping face

Which makes me think how a lot of New England is Sleeping Beauty territory, with wilderness reclaiming fields and orchards. Not houses, by and large, but clearly it can happen. And certainly sometimes in the woods we've found tractors, cars. I've heard of (small) aircraft.

Imagine if you could find a whole sleeping town. Not a Brigadoon town, awake and separate, but a town that fell asleep. The people wouldn't have aged, just like Sleeping Beauty didn't age, but the creatures around them would be born, live, die, be born, live die. There'd be generations of animals and birds who considered those sleeping humans as part of the landscape, like lakes and protrusions of rock. I wonder what would wake the people up. I wonder what awareness they'd have while they were asleep.

weighty

Aug. 6th, 2026 10:27 pm
asakiyume: (dewdrop)
"Tread lightly" is an admonition you can run into here and there. Weighty things can change the shape of the universe. To use the image in "Herkimer Inquiries" (a great story; thanks for the rec, [personal profile] sovay), they're like bowling balls on a mattress.

I sometimes think about that in the context of interactions with people. How weighty people leave impressions on others. Which is also reminding me of the expression in Japanese 影が薄い (kage ga usui), for the opposite phenomenon, literally, to have a pale or watered-down, weak shadow, meaning to not make much impression, to be kind of tenuously fastened to existence. Weighty people, by contrast, leave marks wherever they go.

So when I saw these hollows (filmed with wakanomori's foot for size comparison) in a river rock, that's what a thought of. Some weighty person was walking by, their feet sinking into the rock like mine or yours sink into mud.

A hollow in a river rock that looks like a footprint, next to a man's bare foot.
asakiyume: (shaft of light)
Last week was the Confraternidad Amazónica in Leticia, a week of celebration of warm relations** between the people living in Colombia, Peru, and Brazil where these three countries meet on the Amazon. All sorts of fun, including parades.

I loved this dress made with Cheetos packages:

A girl with a parasol wears a skirt decorated with cheetos wrapper florettes

And this child is, I believe, dressed like Cacicus cela, kaurë in Ticuna--a bird known in the stories of many peoples of the region for its cleverness. Also the name of the colonial (in the sense of a colonial organism) character in my story "New Day Dawning."



Meanwhile, up north in my neck of the woods, I have committed an act of chalk drawing, American goldfinch eating sunflower seeds.



And these shopping carts have not been amalgamated into a katamari (unlike the ones I saw earlier this summer). Instead, they are nature bathing and discoursing on topics of interest to shopping carts.




**Over the years, the "warm relations" have included wars and territorial cessions, and in the past two years there's been dispute over the island of Santa Rosa, but still: the borders ARE open, and many people, including my friends, have family in all three nations because the lands of the peoples who were here before the Spanish and Portuguese encompassed the whole area.
asakiyume: (shaft of light)
When I went to Leticia in April, I brought some presents, and one of them, for my tutor, was this book, Todo el mundo, a Spanish-language translation of All the World (2009).

cover of a picture book: two kids w/backs to you, facing a cloud over the ocean

I'm gratified to say that my tutor loved the words and pictures as much as I do. She read the title and immediately translated it into Ticuna. And then she paged through the book.

"Beautiful," she said. "I'm going to translate it into Ticuna."

And my friends, she did.

Here are some sample pages from the book...

text says un caracol que guardar: child hands a parent a shell

text says todo el mundo es ancho y profundo (shows ocean and coast)

text says "colmena, abeja, alas zumbido, hojas, mazorca ..."

And here are her notes that cover the text on those pages:

a list of phrases and words in Spanish and Tikuna

I am so, so excited about this! I told her I will try to get it published, with her as the translator. I have a small press in mind; I have the author's agent's information bookmarked.

It would be so, so wonderful, if there could be a Ticuna-language edition of this book. (I mean, best of all would be Ticuna-authored and -illustrated books in Ticuna, but there's room for good things that aren't the best thing.)

I do recognize and honor the fact that Ticuna has basically been an oral language for a culture that passes stories and knowledge orally. But I believe you can maintain those traditions and also utilize and enjoy the technology of writing when you want. The world is wide and deep, and I would love to make picture books in Ticuna a thing in this wide, deep world.
asakiyume: (black crow on a red ground)
Look at me posting three times in a week as if it's 2011 or something.

I, like a lot of people on my friends list, read this because of an excellent review by [personal profile] rachelmanija. It really was everything Rachel and others have reported. And it's very short. As I think [profile] sabbotabby says, you can read it in like 15 minutes.

To repeat what Rachel summarizes, it's the memories and dreams of a group of now-adult Chilean classmates who were young adolescents during the Pinochet regime, memories and dreams about a classmate who left the school in the midst of the turmoil of those years. No one ever saw or heard from her again. (Just read Rachel's review! It's short!)

For me, the story had an immediate impact that then just got stronger and stronger. Two things especially: One is how (most) children accept their situation, whatever it is, as normal--how your life is, is normal. The attitudes around you are the attitudes you accept. You do things because other people are doing them. And then gradually, you become more aware of *more*. Your perspective broadens. You question things. You realize things. And the second, drawing on the first, is that sometimes that realizing things can be devastating.

Nona Fernández does this so lightly, so simply. She just taps the tuning fork and it keeps vibrating.

( a personal reason it affected me )
asakiyume: (black crow on a red ground)
It smells like woodsmoke today in Massachusetts because in Canada the forests are burning. Borders are a concept, the planet is one planet; those forests' pain is our pain.

Yesterday, I didn't know why the light on all the buildings seemed rosy all day long; I wondered if there was something wrong with my eyes. Then I heard it was the wildfires.

Today the smoke from those faraway fires is low; the sky is strange.
The sun at 8:30 am this morning:

sunset-looking sun at 8:30 am

The skies:

yellowish skies from Canadian wildfires
(The camera originally took this as much more yellow-orange, more than my eye saw it, but I was able to edit the picture to something more like what the sky actually looks like)
asakiyume: (glowing grass)
In English-language ballads, you often get a repeated line between verses that doesn't have much (or anything) to do with the narrative of the ballad, like "parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme" in "Scarborough Fair," or "lay the bairn tae the bonnie broom" (Old Blind Dogs version) or "lay the bent to the bonnie broom" (Pentangle version) of "Cruel Sister."

I see this in some folksong traditions in Colombia, but in the song I'm thinking of, "La Verdolaga," it feels like the repeated phrase is carrying an unspoken weight of meaning.

In English, verdolaga is purslane. It's an edible wild plant. You can also cultivate it, but it grows wild, pretty much all over the world. It's a ground cover with succulent leaves. Here's some of it growing on a traffic island in Hartford, Connecticut, where I happened to be last week.

Verdolaga (purslane) growing on an island between streets in Hartford, CT

You can find recipes for cooking it from all over the world. Here's one from Turkey. Here's one from Mexico.

In some places you can buy purslane in the market. But you can also go out and gather it anywhere. So this makes me think it's not what you'd consider a prestige food. It's something you can rely on in times of need. It reminds me of when I was out walking one time with a neighbor from Cambodia, and she picked a piece of lambs quarters, which grows wild by the roadside. "We used to eat this under the Khmer Rouge," she said.

So when Totó la Momposina, a famous folk singer in Colombia (who just passed away recently), uses the phrase "la verdolaga ... por el suelo" (the purslane ... on the ground) as her repeated phrase, and when the song starts out "Es bonita, y es bonita, ay la verdolaga, por el suelo" (It's pretty and it's pretty, ah, the purslane on the ground), and when the song goes on to elaborate how she plants it, dries it, sifts it, and when then it goes on to say

Quién es que dice que yo (ay la verdolaga, por el suelo)
Poco va a ser la perdia (ay la verdolaga, por el suelo)


[Who is it who says (ah the purslane on the ground)
That my loss will be little (ah the purslane on the ground)]

and

Niño blanco no me olvides (ay la verdola, por el suelo)
Tus lindas declaraciones (la verdolaga, por el suelo)


White boy, don't forget me (ah the purslane on the ground)
Your sweet declarations (ah the purslane on the ground)

I think it's saying More.

Here's a cute picture of Totó la Momposina, artist uncredited, from an online biography of her for children.



And here's a link to her singing "La Verdolaga."

There's no video with that, but there is a video with this cover by P18, whose lead singer seems to be expressing some of the feeling I'm talking about (here).

The power of song, man.
asakiyume: The Red Detachment of Women (1961, Xie Jin) (emancipating collectively)
I have a friend (she's on Dreamwidth! She'll recognize herself if she reads this) who in the past has done free volunteer tax help for people come tax season.

It's an amazing help not just because taxes can be a nightmare to figure out for yourself and paying someone else to do them can be pricy but also because the mere fact of another person helping you can be hugely encouraging. And this is true for other miserable bureaucratic tasks as well--anything related to healthcare or unemployment claims or disability, or applications for other social supports. Or other stuff! Contacting any large organization about anything, really.

I've been thinking about this because I and a friend have been doing a lot of this kind help for the Eritrean families I've mentioned, and it's clear to me that all of us could use this kind of help and support from time to time. I know I can! And when someone does help me, I'm so profoundly grateful, yes of course for the practical help, but also for the human kindness. (Side note: people who are supposed to help but who are dismissive, impatient, condescending, etc. do outsized harm; probably most of us have had that experience too.)

So if you have a friend who's facing a bureaucracy monster, and if you have an hour or two you could spend with them, maybe you could offer to be their squire as they take on the monster. (Not talking about tax consulting! My friend who offers tax help gets special training for that! But this other stuff doesn't require that.) And if you're the one facing a monster, maybe you have a friend or an acquaintance you wouldn't mind by your side in the fight? People can be flattered and honored if you ask them ...
asakiyume: (Hades)
It was the crows who alerted me to its presence with their yelling. It was huddled against the chainlink fence, an amalgam of shopping cards, fused together as if it had been snowing shopping carts and a monstrous child had rolled them together in a ball.

But it was alive now. I watched it breathe in, out; in, out. How had that happened? I came a little closer and saw that bits of rubbish--old supermarket circulars, disposable coffee cups, lottery cards--were now organic parts of its body, as were pieces of trailing grapevine and oriental bittersweet.

The crows kept hollering. Were they warning it of me, the interloping human, or me of it? I hesitated to get any nearer. There's no knowing how one will end one's days, but I didn't relish the thought of ending mine as part of a shopping cart katamari.

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