The Terrible Limbo Between the Emergency Room and a Hospital Bed
Apr. 22nd, 2026 07:00 amIn the last months, weeks, and days of his life, “I will not go to the emergency room” became my husband’s mantra. Andrej had esophageal cancer that had spread throughout his body (but not to his ever-willful brain), and, having trained as a doctor, I had jury-rigged a hospital at home, aided by specialists who got me pills to boost blood pressure; to dampen the effects of liver failure; to stem his cough; to help him swallow, wake up, fall asleep.
“I will not go to the emergency room”—emphasis on not—were his first words after passing out, having a seizure, or regurgitating the protein smoothies I made to pass his narrowed esophagus. He said it again and again, even as fluid built up in his lungs, rendering him short of breath and prone to agonizing coughing spells. He had been a big, athletic guy, but now, in the ugly process of dying, he was looking gaunt. Ours was a precarious existence, but I understood his adamant rejection of the emergency department. Most prior visits had morphed into extended trips into a terrifying medical underworld—to a purgatory known as emergency-department boarding.
I managed to keep Andrej at home while we planned for hospice, until one dreadful night at 2 a.m., when I ran out of hacks. We got into an ambulance and headed together to the hospital.
We had already learned the hard way that if you need admission to the hospital, you can remain in the emergency department—in the hallway or a curtained bay on a hard stretcher or in a makeshift holding area—for more than 24 hours, even for days, while waiting for a real hospital bed. In this limbo state, you’re technically admitted to the hospital but still located in the physical domain of the ER. And the rules governing acceptable care and safety measures become much less clear.
In the summer of 2024, still being treated to keep his cancer at bay, Andrej had suddenly become somewhat delirious, requiring hospital admission to rule out the possibility of infection or, worse, of the cancer having spread to his brain. After we went to an emergency department near our home, in New York City, he lay trapped on a hard stretcher, with its rails up, for more than 36 hours, amid the alarms and calls for the code team, without any clues of whether it was day or night, and with access only to the few toilets shared by the dozens of patients and visitors in the emergency room. None of this helped his mental state. By the end of day two, he knew me—kind of—but had become convinced that the doctors were “the enemy” and that I was their paid accomplice.
After I pressed to move him to a bed “upstairs”—I meant to an inpatient ward—he was transported to a bed five floors higher. I realized too late that this was an “ED overflow area,” according to the paper sign attached to the entrance’s swinging door. A plaque in the hall identified it as a former labor and delivery floor. It had been kitted out with some of the trappings of an actual ward, such as real beds and bathrooms, but not the most important one: adequate personnel.
The space was by turns eerily quiet and wildly cacophonous. Although patients there were undergoing intimate, embarrassing procedures, rooms were gender-neutral. That first night, Andrej’s roommates were a man in a coma and an elderly French woman in a diaper and boots (no pants), who marched around her bed singing like a chanteuse. In the morning, I pestered a harried nurse and got Andrej moved to a quieter room with three beds, where two people died in three days.
The overworked staff did the best they could, but that was far from good care. My husband—who needed protein and calories but could consume only soft foods—was served chicken cutlets. When I noted to one nurse that Andrej’s soiled sheets hadn’t been changed for several days, she directed me to a linen cart so I could change them myself.
That first time, one of several extended ER stays Andrej made as a boarder, I thought perhaps we had just hit a busy time at a busy hospital. When I worked as an emergency-medicine doctor a few decades ago, the ED was mostly empty at the beginning of my 7 a.m. shift. A few patients might be lingering from the day before: alcoholics who would sober up and leave, patients with a severe burn or a bad case of pneumonia who were waiting for a bed in intensive care.
In the decades since, EDs have doubled or even tripled in size. Even so, patients are piling up. When I started asking around, I quickly discovered that ED boarding has become commonplace in the past five or so years and is getting worse, more or less omnipresent in hospitals. “Everyone knows about this problem, and no one cares enough to do anything about it,” Adrian Haimovich, an ED doctor at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center who studies ED boarding, told me. “It’s barbaric.”
Measuring the problem has been challenging because data on ED-boarding time are limited. Only this past November did the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services finalize a rule that would require hospitals to collect data on ED-boarding times, starting in 2026. Using what other data he could find, Haimovich has shown that boarding for more than 24 hours has increased dramatically for people 65 and older since the coronavirus pandemic.
Once they enter ED boarding, patients exist in a gray zone. There has been a national push to establish “safe staffing” nurse-to-patient ratios in EDs. Even with that, if an ED boarder has a medical complaint that needs quick attention, it’s easy for them to fall through the cracks, Haimovich said: In some hospitals, an admitting team of doctors from upstairs is responsible for the boarders stuck in the ED (but not the associated floor nurses); in others, overstretched ED medical staff must take full responsibility to care for boarders until a bed opens—and that in addition to seeing new patients. Some EDs now routinely hold more boarders—many of them quite ill—than patients being actively evaluated.
Doctors and nurses have complained bitterly about the situation, which forces them to provide inadequate care. Gabe Kelen, the director of emergency medicine at Johns Hopkins University, told me that it’s creating a moral hazard for emergency-department staff. But doctors and department heads such as Kelen are not in control of admissions. Generally, a hospital’s administration parcels out inpatient beds, and emergency-department boarding is in many ways a result of today’s business models and pressures.
When I worked as a doctor, if an ED was overwhelmed beyond capacity, the attending (that was me) typically called in to ambulance dispatch to request “diversion”—ambulances should take patients to another hospital. If a hospital got too full, the admitting office canceled elective admissions. Today, hospitals run like airlines and intentionally overbook, Kelen said. They also have fewer beds than they did a few years ago—in part because nurse (and executive) salaries have risen since the pandemic. An empty, staffed bed is a money loser, so the institution has an incentive to keep beds full and make new patients wait.
“The problem isn’t inefficiency—it’s the way health-care finance is structured,” Kelen said. “Hospitals typically run on thin margins. Elective admissions are prioritized because they tend to be for lucrative procedures like heart catheterizations and joint replacements.”
Admitting patients through the emergency room has business advantages too, even if it means that patients wait for a bed. The evaluation generates charges that typically run many thousands of dollars; once admitted, my husband was still billed the inpatient rate even for a stretcher in the hall. Old, sick, and dying patients are more likely to linger there in part because, after they’re in a real bed, they may take up that spot for days or weeks at a time while waiting for a bed in rehab or hospice, requiring nursing time but not the types of interventions that generate revenue.
Hospitals have tried Band-Aid fixes, such as bed-tracking software and discharge lounges where patients can wait for paperwork or transport home. Many do hire more doctors and nurses and orderlies in the ER to confront the overflow. “Long ED wait times and boarding have root causes that extend far beyond EDs and hospitals themselves,” Chris DeRienzo, the chief physician executive at the American Hospital Association, told me in an email. He listed the high cost of opening beds and the shortage of rehabilitation facilities, and emphasized the precarious financial situation of many hospitals.
But while Andrej waited in the overflow area, we were not thinking of any bigger picture: He was sick, desperate, and still waiting for care. He lingered in boarding for four days before he got a bed. Each time he had to return to the ED, each time he faced a painful wait, he hardened his resolve to never go back.
Thunk. Crash. “Elisabeth, help!” Those were the sounds that woke me at 2 a.m.
I had fallen asleep in our bed, next to Andrej, his head raised with a foam wedge to ease his breathing and make sure food would not come up. Before I dozed off, I listened to his breathing—30 times a minute, two times faster than normal—a sign that he was struggling to get sufficient oxygen. And that racking cough. This was not good.
Now his bruised body was twisted, lying on the floor with his head against the bed frame. He’d attempted to use his walker to go to the bathroom. He was complaining of chest pain, coughing and short of breath. But he managed to get out those words: “I will not go to the ER.”
I knelt by his side in tears, telling him that I loved him but that I could not do anything more right now at home. Carlos, our super, helped me get him into bed and called EMS. I promised Andrej (against hope) that, given his condition, he would surely be quickly assigned to a real room and bed.
What happened next was a blur. I have a vague memory of paramedics arriving, putting him on the stretcher, sliding him into the ambulance, giving him oxygen. I mechanically grabbed his “do not resuscitate” form from under the refrigerator magnet and buckled myself in beside him.
Then he was in the ED, which was thrumming with activity, under the fluorescent lights, with oxygen in his nose, wearing a hospital gown, looking gray and sick. The staff asked what was, for them, the operative question about a guy with widespread cancer: “Does he have a DNR?” Andrej asked me what was, for him, the operative question: “Did you bring my shoes?” He already wanted to leave.
An X-ray showed possible pneumonia, more tumors, and a buildup of fluid in his lungs. A medical team that covers oncology patients wrote an admitting note—he was now a boarder, again—and then retreated upstairs. They started antibiotics and gave him something to help him sleep amid the alarms and shouting. He didn’t.
When I came back the next morning—and two mornings after that—I was alarmed to see him still there on a hard stretcher, his feet dangling off the end, exhausted and in pain. “When will he be admitted to a bed?’’ I implored. If some of the stuff in his lungs was infectious, maybe he could be treated and get home.
Likely soon and I hear your frustration—I came to detest those two phrases.
Neighboring patients came and went 24 hours a day. Some were pleasant; some were screaming in pain or just screaming mad. Pulmonary doctors came and, in this semipublic space, used a large needle to remove three liters of fluid from Andrej’s right lung cavity.
Near the end of the Biden administration, in response to a bipartisan congressional request, the Department of Health and Human Services convened a meeting on emergency-department boarding. Its report, from HHS’s Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, came out the same month that the Trump administration took office, not long before Andrej’s fall—the last night he spent at home.
“Emergency department (ED) boarding is a public health crisis in the United States,” the report concluded. “Patients who are sick enough to require inpatient care can wait in the ED for hours, days, or even weeks … Boarding contributes to increased mortality, medical errors, prolonged hospital stays, and greater dissatisfaction with care.”
The meeting proposal called for the formation of an expert panel to recommend solutions. In theory, a panel could have weighed in on key questions: Should hospitals—some of which are rich institutions—get paid an inpatient rate for boarding in the ED? Should they have to report boarding times and face penalties for excess? Should they be required to open more real beds, and should requirements for licensing be lessened? How can the country create more rehabilitation beds?
But since then, the Trump administration has dramatically cut that HHS agency’s staffing, as well as its grant programs. (Congress is still pushing to fund the agency.) The expert panel never formed, let alone offered solutions. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services did initiate a program this year that will include voluntary reporting of boarding times in 2027, which will become mandatory in 2028. Bad marks will eventually affect Medicare reimbursement.
In an emailed statement, the Joint Commission, which certifies the nation’s hospitals, called boarding a “serious public health crisis” and “one of the most incredibly complex challenges in healthcare.” Although the organization does indirectly look at hospitals’ “ED throughput” from charts, such data are not comprehensive. Little information exists, for instance, about how many people’s last days are spent on stretchers, in hospital limbo.
None of this knowledge would have helped my dying husband. So I did what I’d promised myself I’d never do: I called a doctor friend, who called the hospital’s VIP office.
Suddenly Andrej was whisked to a real hospital room, with a bed that he could adjust to keep his head elevated, a tray he could eat from, a morphine pump, a TV, a bathroom, and a nurse call button at his side. A room with extra chairs, so his stepkids and friends could visit with gifts and mementos one last time. A room where the caring staff placed a chaise longue, where I could sleep over. That way, when he woke scared and coughing and yelling for me, I was there to hold his hand, adjust the oxygen, and push the button for an extra dose of narcotic.
Until, six days after we got in the ambulance and three days after we’d moved to this room, he woke early one morning, agitated and coughing, calling out, “Elisabeth?” I was there. But then, in a blink, he wasn’t.
Robbie’s of Islamorada in Islamorada, Florida
Apr. 22nd, 2026 07:35 am
At Robbie’s of Islamorada, the main attraction is not on the menu, in the gift shop, or even really on land. It is in the water below the dock, where big, silver tarpons gather to be fed.
The ritual traces back to 1976, when Robert “Robbie” Reckwerdt and his wife Mona found an injured tarpon near the marina. The fish had a badly torn jaw, and the couple nursed it back to health. Even after the tarpon (later nicknamed Scarface) recovered, it kept returning to the dock. Other tarpons soon followed, and the impromptu rescue story turned into the marina’s defining activity.
Toss a bait fish among these “Silver Kings”, and the water churns as they vie for the snack, causing quite an unforgettable spectacle. You can even watch the fun of this feeding frenzy at home with Robbie’s underwater livecam, where the hundred-plus tarpons mingle with other Islamorada local fish.
The marina itself sits at mile marker 78 in Islamorada and has grown far beyond the dock itself into a full-on visitor hub. Once you’ve given the tarpons their grub, you can get your own eats at the on-site bar and restaurant, where there’s seafood galore and the famous “Trailer Trash Bloody Mary.” From there, you can explore surrounding shops for quirky souvenirs or make use of Robbie’s boat rentals and watersport adventures, from snorkeling to snuba diving (no certification required!).
Words
Apr. 22nd, 2026 07:12 am“For you: anthophilous, lover of flowers” bY Reginald Dwayne Betts
For you: anthophilous, lover of flowers,
green roses, chrysanthemums, lilies: retrophilia,
philocaly, philomath, sarcophilous—all this love,
of the past, of beauty, of knowledge, of flesh; this is
catalogue & counter: philalethist, negrophile, neophile.
A negro man walks down the street, taps Newport
out against a brick wall & stares at you. Love
that: lygophilia, lithophilous. Be amongst stones,
amongst darkness. We are glass house. Philopornist,
philotechnical. Why not worship the demimonde?
Love that—a corner room, whatever is not there,
all the clutter you keep secret. Palaeophile,
ornithophilous: you, antiquarian, pollinated by birds.
All this a way to dream green rose petals on the bed you love;
petrophilous, stigmatophilia: live near rocks, tattoo hurt;
for you topophilia: what place do you love? All these words
for love (for you), all these ways to say believe
in symphily, to say let us live near each other.
Interesting Links for 22-04-2026
Apr. 22nd, 2026 12:00 pm- 1. Global growth in solar "the largest ever observed for any source"
- (tags:solarpower renewables GoodNews )
- 2. Smoking ban for people born after 2008 in the UK agreed
- (tags:cigarettes law uk age )
- 3. Define "Jewish State"
- (tags:Israel Jews nationalism )
- 4. Hungary's anti-LGBTQ+ legislation violates EU law, court finds
- (tags:Hungary LGBT Europe law bigotry )
- 5. There should be a biopic about Jim Henson, in his biggest flop!
- (tags:biography tv muppets )
Ladies First, The Dog Stars, Jack Ryan: Ghost War, Practical Magic 2, I Love Boosters
Apr. 22nd, 2026 10:46 amSatire based on a French film in which the script is flipped when a ladies man (Sacha Baron Cohen) finds his life upended when he wakes up in a parallel world dominated by women. With the rules of engagement changed, he goes head-to-head with a fiery female colleague (Rosamund Pike). Charles Dance, Emily Mortimer, Richard E. Grant, Fiona Shaw, Weruche Opia and Kadiff Kirwan are also part of the cast. Directed by Thea Sharrock (Wicked Little Letters, Me Before You, The Beautiful Game).
Will probably turn out to be a lot more harmless than expected. But this looks pretty funny. Will start streaming on Netflix on May 22nd.
The Dog Stars HD720p 31MB
Trailer for the latest movie directed by Ridley Scott (The Martian, American Gangster, Kingdom of Heaven). It's an action drama based on a book by Peter Heller, set in a world where survival is instinct, but humanity is a choice. It tells the story of Hig (Jacob Elordi), a young pilot who, together with a military survivalist (Josh Brolin), has carved out an efficient but isolated homestead in a brutal post-apocalyptic world until a mysterious radio transmission spurs him to venture into the unknown in search of the hope and humanity he still believes exists. Margaret Qualley, Allison Janney, Guy Pearce and Benedict Wong are also part of the cast.
Jack Ryan: Ghost War HD720p 31MB
Action movie based in the most recent TV series incarnation of Tom Clancy's character. CIA analyst Jack Ryan (John Krasinski) is reluctantly thrust back into the world of espionage when an international covert mission unravels a deadly conspiracy, forcing him to confront a rogue black-ops unit, and the clock is ticking. Operating in real time with lives on the line and the threat escalating at every turn, he reunites with battle-tested CIA operative Mike November (Michael Kelly) and former CIA boss James Greer (Wendell Pierce). Backed by an unlikely new partner – razor-sharp MI6 officer Emma Marlowe (Sienna Miller) – Jack and the team navigate a treacherous web of betrayal, facing a past they thought was long put to rest.
Will start streaming on Amazon Prime on May 20th.
Practical Magic 2 HD720p 18MB
Teaser trailer for the sequel, to be release 28 years after the first film. It returns to a world steeped in moonlit mischief and powerful ancestral magic, as the Owens sisters (Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman) must confront the dark curse that threatens to unravel their family once and for all. Stockard Channing and Dianne Wiest will also return. New cast additions are Joey King, Lee Pace and Maisie Williams. Directed by Susanne Bier (After The Wedding, In a Better World, Love Is All You Need).
Maybe I should watch the first film.
I Love Boosters HD720p 29MB
Even more colourful, high-energy full trailer for this comedic drama about a crew of professional shoplifters (Keke Palmer, Naomi Ackie, Taylour Paige, Poppy Liu) that take aim at a cutthroat fashion maven (Demi Moore). It’s like community service. Lakeith Stanfield, Eiza González, Will Poulter and Don Cheadle are also part of the cast. Written and directed by Boots Riley (Sorry to Bother You).
Thomas A. Edison
Apr. 22nd, 2026 12:00 amW. C. Fields
Apr. 22nd, 2026 12:00 amJames Thurber
Apr. 22nd, 2026 12:00 amDrawing Ilya at sunset by christianpuppetshow (SFW)
Apr. 22nd, 2026 08:27 pmCharacters/Pairing/Other Subject: Ilya Rozanov
Content Notes/Warnings: none
Medium: digital art
Artist on DW/LJ: n/a
Artist Website/Gallery: christianpuppetshow HR art on tumblr
Why this piece is awesome: Gorgeous colours in this nearly single-colour painting of Ilya by the lake, bathed in sunset.
Link: Drawing Ilya at sunset, backup link here
Hard Things
Apr. 22nd, 2026 03:36 amWhat are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do? Is there anything your online friends could do to make your hard things a little easier?
moony thoughts
Apr. 22nd, 2026 02:55 amThe dark part of the crescent moon has been looking more visible than usual; a lighter shade of gray. Earthshine is brighter this time of year, according to those pages; the latter one gives an explanation as to why.
Looking at the moon recently I had the thought of it being a 5 days' journey away; not the kind of thought I used to have while looking at it.
Humans have been on the moon 6 times already; the last time was Apollo 17 in 1972. I hadn't remembered it being more than once.
I still want to find out why it wouldn't work to send a craft around the moon when the moon is in the new moon phase, so that the craft could see the far side all lit up. I imagine the sun's gravity causes problems with the trajectory, but then again the sun is so far away that I'm not sure.
Windows
Apr. 22nd, 2026 08:16 amHere we are again - 7.55 in the morning and workmen all over the house. I mean, it's our own fault, we booked them to come and change our windows. The windows that came with the house are now over 20 years old, and on many of them the double glazing is compromised, and on several of them the wood surroundings are moldy and black mold is beginning to creep into our bedroom.
This was a situation that needed something doing about it even before we had the heat pump put in. But the heat pump people said that if we were going to be properly efficient with the heat pump we should make sure the windows were insulated to standard, which our rotten old windows were not. So that precipitated us to finally do something about them.
In theory therefore we are pleased that they are here and doing their thing. However, 'an Englishman's home is his castle' etc, and this always feels like an invasion. Plus there is a lot of banging going on, plaster is raining down on us, and we're afraid to go to the toilet in case they take the window away while we're in there.
They're here for four days. I wonder how we'll hold up. Our tempers got frayed very thin during the heat pump installation but we managed to hold on to them. I hope it will be like exercising a muscle - we'll do even better for the practice - and not like having Covid, where the damage mounts up.
Still, I am looking forward to windows you can see out of and window frames you can't put your hand through. Plus a new front door with stained glass panels. Worth waiting for? I hope so.
SGA: The Spare by Rachael Sabotini (wickedwords)
Apr. 22nd, 2026 06:38 pmCharacters/Pairings: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, Elizabeth Weir, Teyla Emmagan, Radek Zelenka
Rating: Mature
Length: 13,319
Content Notes: no AO3 warnings apply
Creator Links: Rachael Sabotini on AO3
Themes: Arranged marriage, AU - royalty, Diplomatic marriage, Politics, Mutual pining
Summary: "It is your duty to the empire to marry Rodney McKay."
Reccer's Notes: This is an interesting romantic romp set in a somewhat steampunk AU where John is married off by his cousin the empress Elizabeth, to Rodney, a leader in the neighbouring nation. John is part of treaty agreements to negotiate peace. Consummating his marriage proves difficult due to Rodney being a workaholic, anxious about never having had sex with a man before, and, that common marriage of convenience trope, as John can end the marriage after a year and a day if he chooses. There are obstacles and pining and inadequate communication, but eventually John makes a place for himself in Rodney's labs, proves his loyalty, and we get the happy ending. A fun read!
Fanwork Links: The Spare
Shakespeare Rated
Apr. 22nd, 2026 08:30 amNot much to quarrel with there. I've never read or seen The Two Gentlemen so I don't have an opinion on it but I'd put Cymbeline- which fascinates me- a little higher. As for the top spot, I'd give it to Hamlet....
The complete list can be found in today's Guardian.
Just One Thing (22 April 2026)
Apr. 22nd, 2026 08:30 amComment with Just One Thing you've accomplished in the last 24 hours or so. It doesn't have to be a hard thing, or even a thing that you think is particularly awesome. Just a thing that you did.
Feel free to share more than one thing if you're feeling particularly accomplished! Extra credit: find someone in the comments and give them props for what they achieved!
Nothing is too big, too small, too strange or too cryptic. And in case you'd rather do this in private, anonymous comments are screened. I will only unscreen if you ask me to.
Go!
Cursed Witch: proofreading complete
Apr. 22nd, 2026 07:41 amUnfortunately I've also reached the stage where I hate everything because clearly I'm a garbage person who can only write garbage stories etc etc etc *sigh* I wish that wasn't part of the process. Every time I finish reading a book and the author in the acknowledgements goes "Thanks to my spouse for talking me off the ledge whenever I started hating this story/stopped believing in it/etc" I grumble "WHERE IS MY SPOUSE!!!" lol. I'm going to wait a couple of weeks for the yucky feelings to scatter before contacting the kind souls who volunteered to beta-read. I was thinking of giving folks 5 weeks to beta again? I realise this might be smack-bang in the middle of end of academic year shenanigans for students and teachers though, so I'll have to ask and see if I should wait to align the timeline... I would prefer that over getting the feedback at random times over many months if possible, because I know my brain is going to start working on stuff as soon as the feedback comes in.
I also have a pretty graph!

I'm never tracking daily again!! Lol. I guess it's not really actionable. It reflects the rest of my life more than the writing. "Here I wasn't home... here I was sick... here something stressful was happening..." I like the idea of weekly tracking more, just like I like yearly challenges like
You can also see how I went crazy last weekend, like "Fuck the plaaaaan I'm finishing THIS WEEKEND even if it KILLS ME LEROYYYYYY JENKIIIINS" and then it killed me and I wasn't anywhere near finished, but really burnt out instead. I did One Last Push this morning because the end felt so within sight. But the bad feels are still here :C And I had to change the graph to add more days and I'll have to write myself a tutorial about that because I fuck things up every time I try to tweak something.
What comes next? Well, for the witch, contacting beta-readers, getting feedback, praying there are no more structural issues lurking (but if there are, so be it), let the feedback simmer. Starting in a couple of weeks.
More immediately, I'm taking a few days' breather then I'm going to start on the Soul Thief structural edits. I have the detailed plan, what needs to change, what needs to go, 15 new scenes to write for all the missing bits... I'm guessing it'll take a few months. I'm looking forward to it, though, and hopeful I'm truly solving the major problems early before any beta-reader takes a look!
I find it interesting, carrying the hopelessness of the Cursed Witch together with the joy/excitement/hope about the Soul Thief. Obviously, that one is incomplete so it still could be anything. This is one of the reasons I always want to find ways to write more. It's not just because "moar words moar better rawwwr", but if I have other projects in various stages to immediately lose myself into, I don't dwell as much on the bad, nor feel it as much. In 2020 and 2021, for Several Reasons (tm) I was writing about 20k words/month, and I think writing so much really fed into itself well: like, sure, damn, that story didn't work out the way I hoped it would. But rather than think "