Asakiyume mita

Some quotes from Ailton Krenak's Life is Not Useful, (trans. Jamille Pinheiro Dias). These are from the essay "You Can't Eat Money."

Here, on the other side of the river, there is a mountain that guards our village ... Looking at the mountain is an instant relief from all pain. Life moves through everything, through rock, the ozone layer, glaciers. Life goes from the oceans to solid ground; it crosses from north to south in all directions. Life is this crossing of the planet's living organism on an immaterial scale. Instead of thinking about the Earth's organism breathing, which is very difficult, let's think about life passing through mountains, caves, rivers, forests.

And earlier, regarding Elon Musk and his ilk:

[Recently there are] billionaires who have the crazy idea of creating a biosphere, a copy of the Earth. That copy will be as mediocre as they are. If a part of us thinks we can colonize another planet, it means we still haven't learned anything from our experience here on Earth. I wonder how many Earths these people need to consume before they understand they are on the wrong path.

I just was enjoying a gift that someone gave me. It was wonderful, I was smiling; it brightened my morning.

But yesterday, when the gift was delivered, I had a totally different reaction, more along the lines of OMG, what?! Someone is giving me artisanal ice cream in a flavor I love, that they made themselves? Ahhhhhh, I don't have TIME for this! I can't eat ice cream now! I'm stressed out and not-hungry and anyway someone my age develops a heart condition or diabetes or at the very least puts on unwanted weight just by looking at ice cream, Aahhhhhhhhh!

--Not the way you should greet handmade ice cream in your favorite flavor. But yesterday, I was preparing to accompany Wakanomori to Logan Airport, a journey I profoundly hate (though I don't mind the actual airport part of it). The only thing worse than driving to Logan in January is driving to Logan in January in the snow--I was very grateful the trip was yesterday and not tomorrow, when snow is expected.

All this set-up is to make the breathtakingly obvious statement that your mood colors how you view things. This is more a note to self: hey Asakiyume! Your mood affects things! Yes, even you, you special snowflake! And if you find yourself stressed out by things that are actually perfectly delightful, maybe it doesn't mean suddenly you don't like ice cream anymore or are the world's most ungrateful friend. Maybe it just means that's a particularly bad moment, and you should WAIT before trying to have a reaction.

... Because I did wait (not graciously! More along the lines of I can't DEAL with this damn ice cream right now!!), and just now I really did enjoy it, completely happily, no friction.

Speaking of gifts, you know what gift some stressed-out parent would be very glad to receive right now? This tiny abandoned jacket.

I've spend the last two-and-a-half days thinking about and trying to care for a butterfly who came out of its crysalis with a malformed wing. It's as if something got wrapped around the wing and pinched it. Here's the picture I took on the day I noticed it (two days ago):



That day was a sunny day and warm, a good day to enter the butterfly stage of your life and take flight. At first I thought, maybe it can pump enough fluid into that wrinkled wing to get it to unfold. But no, it couldn't.

So it was doomed. It was never going to be flying anywhere. Butterfly raising web pages told me I could make a pet out of it, or I could euthanize it (methods described, nothing awful but the concept was very depressing)--or, unstated, but clearly a choice, I could just leave it be, in which case it would die all on its own.

It was such a sunny day. This is life in the world as a butterfly, friend, I wanted to say. You can't fly, so your life is destined to be quite brief, but I hope you really love this sun. It must feel strange not to be a caterpillar anymore.

Then yesterday was rainy and cold. The butterfly hung on to its spot all day. I brought it flowers because one thing the butterfly raising pages said was you could offer a newly hatched butterfly an array of flowers. But it was too cold a day, maybe, for the butterfly to try to test out the flowers. And I don't know how long the nectar stays nectar-y after the flowers are cut.

Today is sunny (ish), and the butterfly was walking about a little. I read on the butterfly pages about making a honey-water or sugar-water mixture. Put it in a saucer and let them taste it with their feet, the page said. When they realize what it is, they will drink some, if they feel like it.

( two more butterfly pictures, with the flowers I tried tempting it with )

So I made some honey-water and held it where the butterfly could taste it, and it did taste it, and then climbed onto my hand--but when I lifted my hand, it fell fluttering off--but then gamely caught hold of a twig and started climbing up again. I tried again to interest it in the honey-water, and again it climbed onto my hand. I thought I'd carry it over to a stand of cosmos--then it could do the butterfly thing of drinking nectar, have another experience of life as a butterfly before it died. So I walked very slowly and carefully, and the butterfly sat on my hand, calm.

And then a big gust of wind came and carried it off, I don't know where. I looked around my yard, but couldn't see it. But I'm thinking, this means it even--sort of--experienced flight, a little.

I'm glad to have known this butterfly.

Meanwhile, I have a chrysalis on the siding of my house that's just about ready to hatch. I hope it will be healthy and able to fly.

In the Amazon, everything is always falling apart as soon as it's made: termites attack wood, metal rusts, roads disintegrate. And everywhere, new life is always pushing up. This is true everywhere, I realize... just slower

...Here, grass is sprouting on the canoe I was in. (Apologies to those of you who have seen this photo already on Twitter) A good image of resurrection.

I had a lovely time with sartorias this past weekend, a consequence of which is that I haven't been online much at all, and may only slowly catch up with people's entries.

sartorias brought me cactus candy--and cactus honey--and cactus marmalade! All delicious. I AM HAPPY TO EAT CACTUS!

And she taught me some yoga, and it was so right and good, it made me cry a little.

( you were always nice to me )

( chestnuts and horse chestnuts )

Some treasures: in the pocket of my sweater are silvery mica and white marble from my walk in Holland Glen, back on Saturday. And on the dashboard of the car is a milkweed pod, spilling milkweed seeds--ballet dancers in long white skirts, like in Fantasia--a Swan Lake corps de ballet. More anon. Work calls--not to mention everyone's blogs! I'll get there, friends.

Someone I know from church, an employee at a toy manufacturer, just got arrested for buying toys from the company on her corporate credit cards and then reselling them on eBay and keeping the profits.

The news accounts say "An affidavit for [her] arrest says she told officials she committed the acts because she was overwhelmed with debt."

She's the mother of six children, the youngest under five, the older three of college age. Her husband has tried various jobs... most recently? ....real estate agent... *sigh* And now she has been fired from her job, and what will happen? Will she go to jail?

What will happen to this family? Without her job, where is their health care? For that matter, how about food, how about the heating bill?

This is a good person... she must have felt so desperate to be driven to this.