car repair
Feb. 10th, 2020 09:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Our beloved mechanic told us the cheapest way to fix the hole in the flex pipe of Wakanomori's cute little car would be to get a patch welded to it, and he recommended a place to do it. "I've sent lots of people there," he said.
So today, early, we were set to drive there. "I forget exactly where it is," said Waka. "But you lead the way."
"It's right near where we used to live," I said.
"Oh ... that place? I thought it was the other place [a stone's throw from this place], where you got that pot lid welded, and where we had that other car work done."
"Nope--we've never been to this place."
Uneasy sounds from Wakanomori.
"But beloved mechanic is recommending it," I said. "So I'm sure it's fine."
So we get there, walk in, and the first thing that jumps out at both of us are THE TRUMP BUMPER STICKERS LINING THE WALL. Next is the Trump baseball cap one of the guys behind the counter is wearing. On a bulletin board, a photocopied sheet that says, "If this is a racist symbol [picture of confederate flag], then so are these [pictures of black lives matter poster, etc.]"
"Hi," says the Trump-cap-wearing man, with a friendly smile. "Can I help you?"
"Yes," I said. "I called last week about a hole in my husband's exhaust? You were going to take a look and then maybe do it today or else we'd schedule a different day."
"Oh yeah; I remember. Why don't we put it on the lift and take a look."
While they're looking at the car, the other guy behind the counter makes a call to a metalworks shop. "Hi, yeah, can you take a look at the design I just faxed over to you? Yeah, a guy wants to make two of those. I was thinking maybe aluminum. You could maybe do it by cutting out hearts?"
"A client wants to make giant three-leafed clovers for the wall of his business," explains our man with the Trump cap. "You know, because he's Irish?" I realize he means shamrocks, which explains why the guy on the phone is suggesting heart shapes.
"Where's the metalworking place?" I ask.
"Up in Bernardston. It's a father-and son team. They have all the tools for cutting and stamping."
"Makes me want to design something out of metal," I say.
"Right?" he says, and laughs.
In the end they give us an estimate, and because they're busy today, we agree to come back later in the week, and we leave. Waka has to hurry off to work, so we don't get to unpack the whole experience at all--just exchange significant looks.
My thoughts as I drive home are all over the place, including, but by no means limited to (I mean, I started writing more, but edited down) the following:
--So maybe that's why there are two welding shops so close together--to cater do clientele with different political leanings
--There are lots of students, including international students, living in the area of that welding shop; would those guys be polite and affable to a foreign student as they were to us? How about a person of color? [ETA: it's not a rhetorical question. Maybe they would be.]
--Waka and I can choose not to reveal our political views to the people at the shop, but you can't choose not to reveal your melanin.
It's not like there aren't plenty of other businesses signaling opposite-direction politics. In Massachusetts, and near a college, things going the other direction are much more common. To pick a flagrant example, there's a copy shop I use a lot, Collective Copies, that has all kinds of progressive posters up, like this one or this one.
And many businesses try to present neutrally. I have thoughts about all this, but they're incoherent and don't have an and in conclusion. so I'll just stop abruptly here.
So today, early, we were set to drive there. "I forget exactly where it is," said Waka. "But you lead the way."
"It's right near where we used to live," I said.
"Oh ... that place? I thought it was the other place [a stone's throw from this place], where you got that pot lid welded, and where we had that other car work done."
"Nope--we've never been to this place."
Uneasy sounds from Wakanomori.
"But beloved mechanic is recommending it," I said. "So I'm sure it's fine."
So we get there, walk in, and the first thing that jumps out at both of us are THE TRUMP BUMPER STICKERS LINING THE WALL. Next is the Trump baseball cap one of the guys behind the counter is wearing. On a bulletin board, a photocopied sheet that says, "If this is a racist symbol [picture of confederate flag], then so are these [pictures of black lives matter poster, etc.]"
"Hi," says the Trump-cap-wearing man, with a friendly smile. "Can I help you?"
"Yes," I said. "I called last week about a hole in my husband's exhaust? You were going to take a look and then maybe do it today or else we'd schedule a different day."
"Oh yeah; I remember. Why don't we put it on the lift and take a look."
While they're looking at the car, the other guy behind the counter makes a call to a metalworks shop. "Hi, yeah, can you take a look at the design I just faxed over to you? Yeah, a guy wants to make two of those. I was thinking maybe aluminum. You could maybe do it by cutting out hearts?"
"A client wants to make giant three-leafed clovers for the wall of his business," explains our man with the Trump cap. "You know, because he's Irish?" I realize he means shamrocks, which explains why the guy on the phone is suggesting heart shapes.
"Where's the metalworking place?" I ask.
"Up in Bernardston. It's a father-and son team. They have all the tools for cutting and stamping."
"Makes me want to design something out of metal," I say.
"Right?" he says, and laughs.
In the end they give us an estimate, and because they're busy today, we agree to come back later in the week, and we leave. Waka has to hurry off to work, so we don't get to unpack the whole experience at all--just exchange significant looks.
My thoughts as I drive home are all over the place, including, but by no means limited to (I mean, I started writing more, but edited down) the following:
--So maybe that's why there are two welding shops so close together--to cater do clientele with different political leanings
--There are lots of students, including international students, living in the area of that welding shop; would those guys be polite and affable to a foreign student as they were to us? How about a person of color? [ETA: it's not a rhetorical question. Maybe they would be.]
--Waka and I can choose not to reveal our political views to the people at the shop, but you can't choose not to reveal your melanin.
It's not like there aren't plenty of other businesses signaling opposite-direction politics. In Massachusetts, and near a college, things going the other direction are much more common. To pick a flagrant example, there's a copy shop I use a lot, Collective Copies, that has all kinds of progressive posters up, like this one or this one.
And many businesses try to present neutrally. I have thoughts about all this, but they're incoherent and don't have an and in conclusion. so I'll just stop abruptly here.
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Date: 2020-02-10 03:37 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2020-02-10 04:22 pm (UTC)This is the first time, in all my long life, that I've thought about who people voted for, or are for, when I encounter them. And my gut reaction is distrust and even contempt for Trump voters. I have to fight that, but it's a conscious effort, and not altogether successful as I find myself wanting to avoid them for that, and not for anything they've done.
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Date: 2020-02-10 04:59 pm (UTC)I think the reaction you describe is completely understandable, but I also think it's worth fighting.
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Date: 2020-02-10 05:12 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2020-02-10 05:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-10 07:38 pm (UTC)*beams at you*
More on this and the whole thing in a bit.
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Date: 2020-02-10 07:40 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2020-02-10 04:57 pm (UTC)ETA: Although I do look Jewish, and I think sometimes people do discriminate on that basis. Hard to prove of course. In any case, I do not feel safe in places that loudly advertise their intolerance.
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Date: 2020-02-10 04:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-10 05:11 pm (UTC)OH MY JESUS I probably would have blurted something like "Wrong number!" and fled.
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Date: 2020-02-10 05:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-10 07:42 pm (UTC)So above you said "I don't want to go into a personal encounter bringing the bad myself." and this relates to my personal experience of such places when I've been stuck dealing with them.
Because, yeah, I would not trust those mechanics whether or not they treated me well to my melanin-rich face (not least because I've experienced being treated well to my face and getting a substandard product), and yet, when dealing with such situations I know I have to go in with wide eyes and a sweet smile looking like I expect nothing but the best so that I give no one any excuse to the absolute best of my ability to claim that I "started it" by behaving "badly" in their eyes.
I bet those dudes think they are an Oppressed Minority out in bluish-purple Massachusetts. Feh.
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Date: 2020-02-10 08:18 pm (UTC)I ache for you having to deploy a smile and wide eyes to deflect accusations of she-started-it, and I know from my melanin-rich friend who's had to deal with all kinds of racism at work how people will STILL say you started it--no matter how blandly pleasant you try to be. And that's just evil and wrong.
When I talk about bringing the bad, though, what I mean is that I don't want to be saying (metaphorically speaking) to people "I expect the worst from you." I want to leave people room to be--and in fact, insist with my behavior that they *will* be--their best possible selves. But that's not a viable course of action for a lot of people in a lot of situations--FOR REAL. I recognize that. (Or it could be in some situations but not others, etc.)
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Date: 2020-02-11 02:41 am (UTC)*alughs bitterly* True, true.
what I mean is that I don't want to be saying (metaphorically speaking) to people "I expect the worst from you." I want to leave people room to be--and in fact, insist with my behavior that they *will* be--their best possible selves.
*nod* In a weird contrapositive way I have to do this too, or rather, act like it, because the *moment* someone like me hints that I might not trust that the other person is Benevolent In All Ways, they may take that Dastardly Insult as an excuse to become terrible. But/and I also see what you mean here, that you want to approach situations openheartedly in the expectation that being trusted will generate trust from the other person. I try to, and try to try to, do that when dealing with people I don't have as much to fear from.
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Date: 2020-02-11 06:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-10 09:29 pm (UTC)I mean practically the definition of "privilege" is that people behave well toward you. So a privileged person (in this case me) expects people to behave well to them, and by and large they do--because privilege.
... I'm always stuck thinking, I have all this privilege. How should I use it well?
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Date: 2020-02-10 09:47 pm (UTC)I don't think of it necessarily in terms of courtesy, because you can always get static from strangers unless you are wealthy enough to insulate yourself entirely, but I do agree that being able to trust that you won't be cheated or refused or abused in the process of a business transaction is a major component of it. Just that baseline of daily security.
... I'm always stuck thinking, I have all this privilege. How should I use it well?
What comes to mind?
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Date: 2020-02-10 10:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-11 12:41 am (UTC)Somewhat inchoate? I like your plan of amplification; I think that does matter and I think it's useful. There are sweeping societal changes that need to be made and then there's all the small stuff in the meantime. For example, on the theory of daily security, if you have the ability to make an interaction happen safely for someone, I would consider that useful. At the moment I feel desperately futile on the sweeping change front, so I try to be a person who can extend some safety in the small things.
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Date: 2020-02-10 09:42 pm (UTC)It is really difficult to leave an interaction that went fine for you knowing that it might not have gone fine for someone else. It's like being reminded of the overlapping consensus nature of reality in ways that are a lot less fun than, say, different people's art.
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Date: 2020-02-10 10:04 pm (UTC)UGGGHHHHH
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Date: 2020-02-11 02:42 am (UTC)Well and truly said. You have shaken me all the way down to the seven-year-old I was when I realized that I got my religious holidays off from school while my Jewish friends had to ask for them, and some of the teachers frowned when they asked.
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Date: 2020-02-10 10:36 pm (UTC)I haven't yet begun boycotting Trump-supporting business owners myself, but I'm getting close. A little voice keeps telling me to look beyond the polarization to the commonalities: Look! You both breathe oxygen! Look! You both have opposable thumbs!
Is there some way I can get that little voice to STFU? 😃
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Date: 2020-02-10 10:59 pm (UTC)More even than the Trump stickers, the thing with the Confederate flag made me think that if I had known ahead of time, I wouldn't have gone in. And yet I didn't leave.
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Date: 2020-02-11 12:42 am (UTC)Do you think you should have?
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Date: 2020-02-11 12:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-11 12:54 am (UTC)If it helps, I'm not asking for a blanket resolution. I couldn't tell from your phrasing if, in this particular situation, you thought you should have.
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Date: 2020-02-11 12:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-11 12:59 am (UTC)It is not my intent to add to the meltdown. Question withdrawn.
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Date: 2020-02-11 01:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-11 01:29 am (UTC)Okay! It is not always easy to tell over the internet.
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Date: 2020-02-11 09:30 pm (UTC)I think I'll do an offshoot post.
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