super premium

[asakiyume]

At the train station, there were single-serving packages of instant oatmeal for sale. Not just any instant oatmeal, but Super Premium oatmeal. Super premium oatmeal? How does oatmeal get to be super premium, exactly? What distinguishes it from run-of-the-mill oatmeal? Are there any other things that are unlikely candidates for super premium status? The healing angel suggested traffic cones and elevators. I suggested intersections and nail clippers.


ckd linked me to this Tumblr post by Tumblr user maxistentialism that features EXTREME GAMING oatmeal. Evidentiary photo from the post:

Comments

[marycatelli]

You charge a premium for it.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Probably all items in a train station are super premium, then!

[aamcnamara.livejournal.com]

Also, all items on a train. (Then again they are on a train and thus fairly premium to start with, aside from price.)

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Yeah, even we humans become super premium when we board a train!

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

How funny.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

It got me thinking too about what other grandiose or irrelevant adjectives could be applied to oatmeal. Radiant maybe, or stalwart.

Stalwart, radiant oatmeal.

[dark-phoenix54.livejournal.com]

The Super Premium gives you the ability to leap tall buildings with a single bound.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Now I'm wishing I'd bought some!

[ckd]

http://blog.maxistentialism.com/post/84273846968/pwnmeal-extreme-gaming-oatmeal-pwnmeal-extreme

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

OMG. The absolute best. Adding some of those pictures to this entry!

[stormdog.livejournal.com]

Super premium mouse pad, I think, is another good one?

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

That's a perfect one. I wish I had a super premium mouse pad, and not one from University Press Scholarship Online, which God knows how it even fell into my possession...

[athenais.livejournal.com]

I think if it's super premium it should do my dishes, too.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I hear self-cleaning meals are the next big thing. The next big super premium thing.

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

Re: Elevators. After living in Egypt, I believe in Super Premium elevators, or at least that there can be elevators of super premium status. Actually my first elevator eye-opener was in France with the teensy tiny lifts that were retrofitted into all those old apartment buildings.

But the Egyptian "problem" with elevators is one of safety.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I think there should be a diametrically opposed opposite to super premium that would be what we could call tiny, terrifying, unsafe elevators. Or maybe we just apply the super premium to the fear factor. Those elevators call themselves super premium, but with an asterisk, which explains the truth--more unsettling than the small print on prescription drugs that lists a slew of lurid possible side effects, usually including death.

[khiemtran.livejournal.com]

Maybe super premium instant oatmeal is so instant, you feel satisfied just looking at it?

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

worked for me! I certainly felt satisfied after my encounter with this super premium oatmeal, and as you can see, it's been the oatmeal that keeps on giving.

[oiktirmos.livejournal.com]

I like the idea of premium traffics cones. And there are traffic cones called "premium" by the manufacturer. I can't think of many objects that are so commonplace they couldn't be adorned with something to make them premium. The word premium is overused in marketing. I love some of the synonyms for overused I found at thesaurus.com – exhausted, overworked, mildewed, stale, banal, bathetic, moth-eaten, musty, shopworn and threadbare.
An advertising agency could promote itself as producing the most "overworked, mildewed, stale, banal, bathetic, moth-eaten, and musty" marketing slogans.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Your last sentence quite literally made me laugh out loud--and I mean literally in the original meaning of the word. I actually laughed out loud.

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

Hmmm steel cut and they left the steel in it?

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

LOL, super shiny stainless steel oatmeal!

[avalonestel.livejournal.com]

I laughed so hard at this post that my sister came to see if I was all right. XDDD

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

:D

Super Premium oatmeal will do that to a person!

Extreme Gaming Oatmeal

[docdad2.livejournal.com]

Ahyup, over the top.

Re: Extreme Gaming Oatmeal

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

for sure!