Pencils

[asakiyume]

When I was in first grade, they gave us all big, round blue pencils with no erasers on them. I liked the blue pencils; I liked them especially when they were sharpened. They made nice, dark lines.

This one is not sharpened. Picture taken from pencilsnmore.com


What I really liked, though, were the slim, hexagonal yellow pencils that grown-ups used. They said competence and maturity to me. I liked these ones, because of the bright red stripe on the little metal cap that holds the eraser:

Image from officezilla.com


Best of all, though, were the copyediting pencils my mother used. They were red, and better than that, they wrote red. (I did not yet know you could get colored pencils and color with them the way you did with crayons.)

Image from pajamaproductivity.com


At some point, my mother gave me one, and I was so proud of it. Then I somehow lost it in the classroom and made a big fuss. I probably cried, though I don't remember for sure. A boy kindly offered me a pencil, painted red, but with an ordinary black graphite lead in it. NOT GOOD ENOUGH! NOT THE REAL THING! The teacher scolded me for being an ungrateful brat. Which I was totally being. I wish I could go back and get a good look at that boy who was nice enough to offer me a red pencil.

... This comes to mind for two reasons. One, I'm thinking of bringing pencils and pens to East Timor when I go, and I was thinking of all the ways in which they can be special. Two, I'm remembering an incident at the jail the other day. At the end of a GED session, one of the women asked if she could hold onto the pencil. Usually I use just ordinary Ticonderoga pencils (yes, I've switched allegiance from Mirado classic to Dixon Ticonderoga--brand consciousness!), but I also have a couple of foil pencils in the mix. They're pretty:



I said, no, I couldn't, because that wouldn't be fair, because I don't have very many of those (which was the wrong reason to give: more importantly, I'm not supposed to give anything to anyone ever).

"Aw, no one will notice," she said.

"Oh yes they will," said the other woman, and then it transpired in discussion that those foil pencils were known and remembered in the units.

Small things have value for all kinds of reasons.

Comments

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

Would they allow the ladies at the jail to have pencils? Or could they be considered potential weapons?

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

They are allowed to have them, and also certain sorts of pens--but not click pens with springs.

[cucumberseed.livejournal.com]

It is amazing how important some things can become, depending on their resonances and the situation.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Right? Reminds me of the line from "You Can Call Me Al":

He doesn't speak the language
He holds no currency

Currency. The stuff of exchange, but not just economic exchange.

[duccio.livejournal.com]

You could probably tell them that if you leave them something and the guards find it, that you would not be able to come back... which would the inmate prefer: you or the pencil? Then tell them how important it is to you to be able to volunteer with them and you would not want to put that in jeopardy. That's the truth, and maybe it would give them a sense of worth, and a feeling of responsibility towards you.

Maybe not though... A pencil could lead to other favors "that no one will notice" that could spin out of control. The rules must be strictly adhered to or your borders will become porous. A good heart is given to those who don't ask for rule breaking and secrecy. Trust was broken with the "no one will notice" remark. They're sizing you up. Remember: It was a pencil metaphor that Milton Friedman used to foist Reagonomics and 'trickle-down economics' on us. We all see where that has led.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

What was Milton Friedman's pencil metaphor?

[duccio.livejournal.com]

He wrote a book about his economic theories and described the hundreds of steps involved in the manufacture of a pencil. It all was to promote the infallability of libertarian, no regulation, free market capitalism and propound the "government is the problem" mantra. The book was Free to Choose.

http://www.amazon.com/Free-Choose-Statement-Milton-Friedman/dp/0156334607/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374085230&sr=1-1&keywords=free++to+choose

[jamieduclavier.livejournal.com]

I remember the awe of pencils when I was a little girl. My mother was a teacher, so she would come home with boxes *full* of those soft-leaded silver pencils with perfect, brand new erasers, and perfectly flat hexagon tips. She used to let me sharpen them all with her mechanical sharpener, because I enjoyed it so much. (and, I suppose, because it meant she didn't have to do it!)

Whenever we went to places like Staples, I would wander over to the drafting supply area. So many different kinds of pencils, and tools, and I wanted to play with them all. Especially the one that wrote red. I knew and had colored pencils... but something about *that* one was magical. it wasn't a colored pencil... it was a normal pencil, that was inexplicably red. And I loved it.

The love of pencils was a big thing for me as a little girl. I often wondered why other children didn't get it, I mean... a pencil was absolutely nothing but a perfect creation machine. Magic distilled into wood.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is beautiful ♥

And yes: It was a normal pencil, that was inexplicably red--exactly! Totally unique and special.

It must have been so much fun to sharpen all those pencils.

[khiemtran.livejournal.com]

Magic distilled into wood.

I like that image!

[behindpyramids.livejournal.com]

Pencils, perfect! My cousin and I had a red one that we would fight over, and one of my best friends loved her mechanical pencil so much that when it broke, she ordered a new one, and swapped out the old broken parts.

How did you get the discipline to say no? An Afghan refugee boy asked me for an American quarter when I was in Delhi. Telling him no was hard, he had so little, the quarter would have meant a different world to him, but we were at a women's shelter and I didn't have enough quarters to give everyone something. I still don't know if saying no was the right thing there...

How to say no

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I don't know the answer to that *at all*

At the jail it's easy: there are rules, and you simply have to follow them (unless you forget, unless you slip up, which has happened to me. But that can have consequences...)

I've been getting advice from wise traveler friends, and they all seem to say that small items are a fine thing to hand out. And when you run out, you run out, I guess? ... I'll report back on how it goes when I get back.

On the other hand, I have another online friend, one I admire deeply, who took a totally different approach: gave away her laptop to one person and decided to pay the school fees of a man she met up with, a driver, who was trying to start his own business. Breathtaking, inspiring generosity. She felt free to do it, able to do it. (And she herself is anything but rich.)

I think... you do what you are able to do? If you're inclined, you push your own boundaries a little? I don't know. I have a hard time, myself, but I have great aspirations.

Re: How to say no

[behindpyramids.livejournal.com]

also I totally forgot--EAST TIMOR? SO COOL! WHEN? FOR HOW LONG? DETAILS!!

In Laos I ran into an organization that printed cheap children's books by local writers for tourists to buy and then hand out to children...I loved the concept and I loved that Laos was the only country where small children have approached me asking for books.

I love the story of your online friend--she's so generous and gutsy too. There are so many stories, it's hard to trust yourself to do right, or to just do and not worry too much.

Re: How to say no

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

August 2 through August 17! (But some of those days will be lost in travel) I'll be helping volunteer English teachers in the mountain town of Ainaro.

SO EXCITED.

[khiemtran.livejournal.com]

Thanks for posting. It certainly puts things into perspective when I could just stop by the shop today and buy any pencil I want for small change.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

It was occurring to me this evening that if I bring over pencils, I ought to also bring over pencil sharpeners....

A friend of mine was talking about buying a rice cooker for a family she had stayed with for a month in ... it was either Laos or Vietnam. This was back about twenty years ago. "Did they have electricity to run the rice cooker?" I asked. I mean, I sort of assumed my friend wouldn't have gotten one for them if they didn't, but... "Part of the day," she said.

[bogwitch64.livejournal.com]

How UNinnocent a pencil can be, eh?

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Context context context! (Even more than location, location, location)

[deponti.livejournal.com]

Lovely...I'd forgotten the pencils of my education, of my art...thank you! All those B's and HB....!

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

My pleasure!

[agentmaly.livejournal.com]

'B' for Bear, and 'HB' for Helping Bear, and 'BB' for Brave Bear.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I thought of this remark of yours when I was looking at pencils yesterday afternoon :-)

[yamamanama.livejournal.com]

Mechanical pencils are my favorite kind, though the standard ones have their uses.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I like the nice fine line a mechanical pencil gives you, and for a while when I was a kid, they were miy favorites. But then, for fine lines, I moved over to very fine-lined felt-tipped pens, and for soft lines I liked soft graphite pencils.

[chrysanthaa.livejournal.com]

Pencils and pens to East Timor! That's a brilliant idea. :)
I'm thinking how a pencil can really be used as a potential weapon in jail. That is so cool!

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they could be used as a weapon. It's interesting that they permit pencils, and certain pens, but not other sorts of pens! I don't know how they decide these things...


--and I just realized **this** was the comment you were wondering why I hadn't answered it! (I thought you meant your response to my comment in your journal.)

I'm so sorry! I just overlooked it :-(

I don't know how it happened....