asakiyume: (Em reading)
[personal profile] asakiyume
Disclaimer: I more often than not don't play these games, so if I tag you and you're not feeling up to it, no worries at all. I completely understand. Sometimes the stuff on the seventh page at the seventh line isn't what you feel like sharing! And sometimes the magics don't align right for sharing. But if you feel like it. Oh, and pretty much everyone I know loves to write, so if I don't tag you, don't hang back--the more the merrier.

The Game

Go to the 7th page of a work in progress, go 7 lines down, post the next 7 lines, then challenge 7 other writers to do the same.

... So here is something from the novel I'm inching along on, under the working title Diet of Clouds


“Sarray” I said.

She shook her head. “Tsare,” she repeated. I tried again, and again she shook her head. Ambat said something under his breath to Citak, who swallowed a laugh. Para frowned.

“Say again,” she ordered. I tried again, and this time she smiled and nodded.

“Let’s play,” she said, dropping to her knees and drawing a wide circle.

“What did Ambat say, before Takinat?” I asked her, sometime later.

Y'know, this is one of those excerpts which is kind of a head scratcher taken out of context. Lots of made-up names and not much happening. Takinat is a game played with feathers. All the named characters speak a language that the narrator doesn't speak. Para's teaching the narrator one word of it--tsare--which means "sea eagle." The feathers the narrator's going to use in the game come from a sea eagle.

I'm going to tag some people on Twitter, too, but here I'd like to tag [livejournal.com profile] queenoftheskies, [livejournal.com profile] mnfaure, [livejournal.com profile] osprey_archer, and [livejournal.com profile] blairmacg--if any of you feel inclined. [livejournal.com profile] heliopausa, thinking of you, but understanding that you're occupied right now. But if this would be an entertaining break...

PS. One way to make this less daunting is definitely to drop that final seven. Tagging seven people! For one thing, with a geometric progression of seven, you run out of people pretty quickly. So yeah--maybe just make it the 7-7-7 challenge and then just tag one or two people.

PPS. I forgot to add that the person who tagged me was [livejournal.com profile] cafenowhere! Thank you for nudging me. (You can read her entertaining snippet--much more coherent in its seven lines--here.)


Date: 2015-09-17 02:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mnfaure.livejournal.com
OK. I'll play the 7-7-7 challenge. :P

Date: 2015-09-17 02:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mnfaure.livejournal.com
...from the novel I'm inching along on,...

I'm so glad you are inching along and sticking with it!

Date: 2015-09-17 02:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asakiyume.livejournal.com
And finally things are starting to happen! (Which statement leads me to believe there's lots of cutting to be done in the future, when I'm editing...)

Date: 2015-09-17 04:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cafenowhere.livejournal.com
Don't think about the editing yet. Just GO GO GO! *\o/*

Date: 2015-09-17 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asakiyume.livejournal.com
YESS! LET'S DO THIS THING!

Date: 2015-09-17 06:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mnfaure.livejournal.com
Seconds this!

Advice I heartily need to follow...and never do!

Date: 2015-09-17 04:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cafenowhere.livejournal.com
I don't find it a head-scratcher at all! Even without your explanation, I thought, "Aw yiss, Asakiyume's giving us the intersection of cultures again, and there's a game of some kind!"

Come to think of it, games must be an interesting way to enter a language. Like commercials, they give us a rather hyperbolic impression of a culture's priorities.

Thanks for playing the 7-7-7-7 game with me!

Date: 2015-09-17 05:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asakiyume.livejournal.com
Thank you for tagging me! And I like that phrasing: a hyperbolic impression of a culture's priorities.

I don't know about games, but songs give you an interesting route into a language. You learn all sorts of words like betrayal and heartbreak and regret before you learn, say, how to say roadmap or plate or supermarket (maybe... you might learn those words in songs, too--but you know what I mean).

I mean, I just learned a new word of Spanish: bailar. It comes up a lot in songs.

Date: 2015-09-18 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cafenowhere.livejournal.com
I just learned a new word of Spanish: bailar. It comes up a lot in songs.

Of course, the first song that popped into my head: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMRJHvhX358

hyperbolic impression of a culture's priorities.

re: I was thinking about how some games have turn-taking built in, or stress competition over cooperation, or put a lot of value in keeping "possession" of something they're chucking around anyway.

But point well taken, re: songs giving us an "in" to abstract but important concepts not usually covered in textbooks!

Date: 2015-09-18 03:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asakiyume.livejournal.com
The song! ♥ ♥ ♥

And vigorous nodding about games. It's probably also instructive to look at games played in lots of different countries and see the different flavors given them--like how baseball is different here, in Japan, and in Cuba, say, or how soccer is different depending on where it's played.

Date: 2015-09-18 04:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cafenowhere.livejournal.com
It's probably also instructive to look at games played in lots of different countries and see the different flavors given them

YES, that would be so cool! Also, probably the only way you could get me to watch sports, period.

Date: 2015-09-17 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] haikujaguar.livejournal.com
*plays game!*

And I remembered, with a painful clarity, the feel of him beneath my fingers: the muscle so close to the frictionless skin, the heat it generated into the water around him, like a tangible halo.

The need to touch him was so strong. I shoved my fingers into my armpits and trapped them there. “Of course I’m proud of you,” I said, when I found my voice again. “But you shouldn’t be here. What drove you into the river waters? Why did you come?”

The serpent lowered his head until it was on level with mine.

Date: 2015-09-17 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asakiyume.livejournal.com
Oh this is *gorgeous* lip-lickingly good.

Thank you so much for playing!!

Date: 2015-09-17 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] haikujaguar.livejournal.com
It is draft-tacular! I need to go through it three or four times and make it tighter. But I am having the exhausted day and I just hit page 7 so I decided to just roll with it. -_-

Date: 2015-09-17 05:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asakiyume.livejournal.com
Draft-tastic is the way we're rolling today! Mine too! But to be honest, I see nothing draft-tastic and everything wonderful about it--as clearly [livejournal.com profile] greylistening does too, so keep it safe in your change purse for right now. [what does that even mean? I don't know; it just popped into my head]

Date: 2015-09-17 05:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] haikujaguar.livejournal.com
*does little draft dance with you*

The challenge is that the character has a very specific voice and I want to make sure I get it right. The sentences need to be shorter or longer depending on what they're talking about... it's part of how you get the sense of how emotionally engaged the narrator is. That's the kind of thing I need to tidy. :)

But I am glad to be moving on this project. I need some sea serpent time. Plus, I want my romance novel to look more like the romance series it's supposed to be, so I can put book 1 on sale! >.>

Date: 2015-09-17 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greylistening.livejournal.com
Oooooohhhhh...

This brings tears to my eyes. For so many complicated reasons.

Date: 2015-09-17 06:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mnfaure.livejournal.com
This is so intriguing. Thanks for playing. :D

Date: 2015-09-18 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sartorias.livejournal.com
Intriguing!

And very good news that you are writing!

Date: 2015-09-18 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yamamanama.livejournal.com
I did not mean to reply to you.
Edited Date: 2015-09-18 12:57 am (UTC)

Date: 2015-09-18 02:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asakiyume.livejournal.com
LOL, whoops, put this in the wrong place--moving it.
Edited Date: 2015-09-18 02:19 am (UTC)

Date: 2015-09-18 02:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asakiyume.livejournal.com
Thanks--it's v-e-r-y slow, but it's something.

Date: 2015-09-18 12:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yamamanama.livejournal.com
and gold uniforms, black shakos with gold trim and red plumes, skin the color of nectarine flesh, wielding batons ran in and assisted Bagrat. One of them bashed me in the head and I blacked out, only to wake up in another place with Bagrat standing in front of me.
“We’ll try this again.”
I tried to kick him in the junk, found I couldn’t move my legs. I could only manage a groan.
He said to his subordinate, “we’ll try again tomorrow. Just leave him here.” The room was cramped and dingy and lit by sodium lamps.
I thought of cursing at him, but only breath came out. I felt blood on my lip, tried to sniff it back upwards.

-From Revolution of Flowers

It seems Appleworks and Livejournal disagree on how long a line is.
Edited Date: 2015-09-18 01:06 am (UTC)

Date: 2015-09-18 02:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asakiyume.livejournal.com
I really like this. Thank you for sharing!


(And as I said above before I erased the comment--you will definitely like Alif the Unseen)

Date: 2015-09-18 02:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yamamanama.livejournal.com
I should be able to get my hands on it one of these days. In the meanwhile, I'm enjoying A Canticle For Leibowitz.

Also, Emma has a painting in Boston's city hall.

Date: 2015-09-18 02:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asakiyume.livejournal.com
Wow, impressive re: Emma. She's a woman with a lot of talent.

Date: 2015-09-18 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yamamanama.livejournal.com
Yeah she is.

Many talents, in fact.

Date: 2015-09-18 04:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] queenoftheskies.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you shared! I love your stories and your world building.

Date: 2015-09-18 03:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asakiyume.livejournal.com
:-)

I'm happy so many others have joined in too!

Date: 2015-09-18 09:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] khiemtran.livejournal.com
So happy to hear there's a new novel on it's way..

Date: 2015-09-20 01:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asakiyume.livejournal.com
It's vying with sloths and snails for an award for Most Slow in terms of rate at which I'm writing it, but --Yes! I'm glad too.

How about you? Tinkering on things?

Date: 2015-09-20 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] khiemtran.livejournal.com
Very slowly. Although I hope things will start speeding up soon.

Date: 2015-09-20 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asakiyume.livejournal.com
very, very glad to hear it

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