October 1: spontaneous ceremony

[asakiyume]

On this day in Pen Pal, Kaya took an action to express grief. You might say she created a spontaneous ceremony.

I think people do this a lot. Prescribed rituals do give us a way to proclaim and honor our big feelings (the happy ones as well as the sad ones), but sometimes they're not enough; sometimes we need or want to go further. We want to make a personal statement. Or, like Kaya, we may not be in a position to engage in prescribed rituals.

Do you have any spontaneous ceremonies you've created that you can share? And did any then go on to become personal traditions? One of mine that I don't mind sharing, for instance, is doing a great bow (after the manner of the fairy queen in The Perilous Gard) in locations of great physical beauty would be one.

One that my kids do is bake cakes on the occasion of the birthdays of characters from anime or video games. I highly endorse that one!

Comments

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

Some people in my position create an additional birthday.

I don't have to as my natal birthday and that day fall on the same date- 8th May- I got to choose that date- which is kind of special in its own way! :o)

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Very nice! Do you have anything particular and special that you do--always eating something special (I mean, there's birthday cake, but beyond that), or saying special words, or anything like that?

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

Not specifically anything that isn't birthday-ish anyway but the idea always was to be sure there'd be something to celebrate. I like to remind myself that it's also my re-birthday and certain very old friends get forgiven for wishing me a happy fanniversary! :o)

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

the idea was always to be sure there'd be something to celebrate

♥ understood.

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

Oh! And I always say 'Good morning' to magpies! :o)

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

This is a traditional British-Isles thing, right? My husband does this too.

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

My grandma did it, so it may well be northeastern in its origins.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

There is a spot on the bridge I take into my city where I can see the skyline, and I blow my city a kiss there, and often I say something like, "Hello, my pretty pretty city," in a very soft voice.

I also greet a friend of mine who has died when we pass a park along the river where we all once had a perfect picnic in a light autumn rain. I feel like there is a piece of him still there in some sense, so I say, "Hi, Mike," when we go past, and sometimes if I am by myself I tell him what stories I have written that he might like since I have last been that way. (This is probably hubris considering which Mike he was, but he was also my friend Mike, so.)

Also there is a long story about Teddy Roosevelt's birthday.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

These are *precisely* the sorts of things I mean. You have me a little choked up, reading this.

And there's no hubris at all in claiming your friend as your friend, no matter how important/famous he is, he's also (or was also) your friend--is how I feel. I have someone like that in my life, too.

And now I'm curious about the Teddy Roosevelt story!

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Oh, claiming him as my friend is not hubris, but "I think you would like this thing that I wrote" sometimes still feels like hubris with some of my friends even though they are my friends. If that makes sense.

As for TR.

My parents have friends with two young daughters, one of whom (J) needed extra after-school help with her reading. She was 7. And one day K, the father, went to pick up the earlier-departing child and found both of them waiting to go home. "J, what's going on?" he said. "I told them I had to go home now," said J. "I told them our family had to celebrate Teddy Roosevelt's birthday." And her dad said, "Go back in there and do your after school reading help!"

Which, I said when I heard this, was the difference between her dad and my dad, because my dad? would totally have made me read up on how to celebrate Teddy Roosevelt's birthday. Which it actually was; the kid had that part right. But then we would have celebrated it, as a family.

So we got to talking about how to celebrate TR's birthday, and now when the weather and our healths permit, we go to a public park with a very large hill and charge up it. It's TR's birthday, but I think mostly what we're honoring is my father's style of parenting.

Is it October 27? Then it must be time to charge up a hill!

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I LOVE this! I'm going to tell my family--that is completely *awesome*

And his birthday turns out to be this month!

In honor of the Marissa Lingen ceremony for Teddy Roosevelt's birthday, I just might have to charge up a hill that day.

[cucumberseed.livejournal.com]

Kissing my hand and touching the ceiling of my car when I sail through a yellow (or slightly orange) light!

Most of my others are single-use impromptu things.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I think of that as more of a protective magic (though I haven't quite taxonomified this all out yet), but I like it!

And yeah, I think the spontaneous ceremonies can *be* single use. Maybe mainly are.

[khiemtran.livejournal.com]

I like to run on the beach as the sun rises on Christmas morning. It's a nice quiet time for contemplation and I can think back on the year that's nearly over.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a lovely one.

[oiktirmos.livejournal.com]

One that my kids do is bake cakes on the occasion of the birthdays of characters from anime or video games.
If I had thought of that when I was watching Babylon 5 I would have baked a Vorlon Planet Destroyer cake.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

And that would have been A MIGHTY CAKE!

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

None that I can share, but I have them, and I am so delighted that others have them!

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Me too :-)

I need a guardian whale icon

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Don't know if this counts, but always, before undertaking a voyage or doing something scary, I pray for my guardian whales (Beulah and Beluga) to accompany and protect me.

Beulah and Beluga came into my life when we lived in Mayotte. Despite loving the idea of s.c.u.b.a. diving, it was a scary thing to learn and do. I am now a level 2 in Padi and can dive down to 40m or do a dive without an instructor, but I had to overcome my control-freak tendencies to do it. Anyhow, one day on the boat, heading out across the lagoon, I prayed for a safe dive and the image of two gigantic whales swimming alongside me as protectors appeared in my mind. I've been inviting them back ever since. :)

Re: I need a guardian whale icon

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

That definitely, definitely counts ♥

Re: I need a guardian whale icon

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

phew.

I like little traditions and rituals and yet was sad to think that perhaps I didn't have any. I would think that I had more...

Re: I need a guardian whale icon

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

You may have one-off things that you do, kind of like cucumberseed. Those can be hard to remember, yet meaningful in the moment.

[seajules]

Growing up, my sisters and I would sit one to a wall in the main room of our latest house, before the movers filled it with our household goods, and sing to the memories and ghosts of the place. We would then do the same when moving out. Since we usually lived in military housing, there frequently were a number of ghosts and memories involved.

I have also adopted the ceremony of walking straight into the ocean of my latest home and getting the brine up my nose and letting the sea taste me. I'm only a tourist until I do that.

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

I love both of those rituals. :D

(ETA argh, why are userpics being funky and not staying the way I select them!?)

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

(They are doing that intermittently for everyone. It's a real drag.)

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Singing to the ghosts and memories! That is **beautiful**. Did you make up your own songs, or sing ones that you knew, or both?

And walking straight into the ocean--that is so completely you, and wonderful. It makes you part of that particular place's ocean, and makes that particular ocean part of you.

[rivertumbled.livejournal.com]

i have so many of these personal rituals that i am going to do a post about it.

& i looooove The Perilous Gard. i will have to reread that. maybe today.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I will come by and see your post! I've been away from the Internet this past weekend and am only just catching up.

And The Perilous Gard is one of my all-time faves, for sure and definite.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

This is such a beautiful post / discussion it made me cry.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I really love the ceremonies people have shared.