asakiyume: (black crow on a red ground)
[personal profile] asakiyume
(inspired by a conversation I had with the Ninja Girl)

Q: Is it alive?

A: Yes

Q: Does it extend mycelium fingers across the earth?

A: No

Q: Does it hail from the benthic depths of the sea?

A: No

Q: Does it live in the terrestrial wilds?

A: Yes

Q: Is it solitary?

A: No

Q: Is it ancient?

A: Can you clarify? Is that a life span question? Or are you asking a species question? Or something else?

Q: Is it knowing?

A: That seems like a whole different question, and I have no idea how to answer. Knowing compared to what?

Q: Does it have feathers?

A: Yes

Q: Does it have wings?

A: Yes. That goes with the feathers, doesn’t it? I don’t know of anything with feathers and no wings.

Q: Are the wings large?

A: Yes

Q: Large and silent? So quiet that they steal sound from your ears?

A: Definitely not.

Q: And are its eyes so keen that from the sky it can note a whisker quiver?

A: Well, it does have good vision, but it’s not interested in whiskers.

Q: No matter how still a poor creature might try to be, holding its breath, concealed in the tall grasses?

A: Is that part of your last question?

Q: And are its talons steel traps and its beak a cruel hook?

A: No! It’s not a raptor, okay?

Q: And does it have the strength to steal a child from a garden, should it so choose?

A: Are you even listening to me?

Q: Is it known as a creature of omen?

A: I’m not … I’m not even …

Q: And do people tremble when they hear its call?

A: No, man. Look, it’s a goose, okay? A goose.

Q: And has it come among us now, the sovereign of night, the monarch of silence?

A: ….

Q: To rule us by beak and talon?

A: ….

Q: Then why are we playing children’s games? We must go fling ourselves in the dust before it and beg for a few more sweet hours of life! Let’s go!

Date: 2023-02-16 09:59 pm (UTC)
noachoc: (Default)
From: [personal profile] noachoc
I like this a lot.

Date: 2023-02-16 11:33 pm (UTC)
teenybuffalo: (Default)
From: [personal profile] teenybuffalo
This is very funny and I burst out laughing. Don't change a thing -- it's perfect

Date: 2023-02-16 11:38 pm (UTC)
sovay: (PJ Harvey: crow)
From: [personal profile] sovay
This is wonderful.

Date: 2023-02-17 12:18 am (UTC)
marycatelli: (Default)
From: [personal profile] marycatelli
Just off-the-wall questions is fun.

Date: 2023-02-17 12:55 am (UTC)
sartorias: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sartorias
LOL!!!!

Date: 2023-02-17 02:28 am (UTC)
minoanmiss: A detail of the Ladies in Blue fresco (Default)
From: [personal profile] minoanmiss
bwee

Date: 2023-02-17 06:04 am (UTC)
radiantfracture: Beadwork bunny head (Default)
From: [personal profile] radiantfracture

Absolutely love this.

Date: 2023-02-17 11:47 am (UTC)
shewhomust: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shewhomust
Thank you!

Date: 2023-02-17 12:33 pm (UTC)
wayfaringwordhack: (Art: Thibault Prugne - Bee Rider)
From: [personal profile] wayfaringwordhack
This made me LOL. I had to call Sprout over to read it with her. In our family, we love to play "Guess What I am," and it always revolves around animals (every once in a while J has to throw in something else because he is bored with animals but the kids always drag it back to animals), and so this was just hilarious to us.

I can totally picture both participants. :D

Date: 2023-02-17 01:04 pm (UTC)
mrissa: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mrissa
I mean, geese.

Date: 2023-02-17 01:22 pm (UTC)
amaebi: black fox (Default)
From: [personal profile] amaebi
:D

Date: 2023-02-17 04:19 pm (UTC)
amaebi: black fox (Default)
From: [personal profile] amaebi
I think, in fact, that you might consider submitting this as micro fiction.

Date: 2023-02-17 01:43 pm (UTC)
mallorys_camera: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mallorys_camera
Love, love, love this! 😀

Date: 2023-02-17 03:10 pm (UTC)
larryhammer: Yotsuba Koiwai running, label: "enjoy everything" (enjoy everything)
From: [personal profile] larryhammer
:points at icon:

Date: 2023-02-17 03:49 pm (UTC)
larryhammer: floral print origami penguin, facing left (Default)
From: [personal profile] larryhammer

👍🏻 Excellent idea!

Date: 2023-02-17 04:07 pm (UTC)
osprey_archer: (Default)
From: [personal profile] osprey_archer
I love this! Love A getting increasingly weirded out as Q follows the path of the Terrifying Giant Sky Raptor with increasing fervor. Don't tell me it's a goose! I know it's a creature of portent, come to slaughter us all!

Date: 2023-02-17 04:20 pm (UTC)
heleninwales: (Default)
From: [personal profile] heleninwales
I loved that! I haven't played 20 questions for years, but this was a wonderful take on the game.

Date: 2023-02-17 04:32 pm (UTC)
amaebi: black fox (Default)
From: [personal profile] amaebi
Oh, for curiosity, have you read Mervyn Peake's Titus Groan?
Edited Date: 2023-02-17 04:33 pm (UTC)

Date: 2023-02-17 07:00 pm (UTC)
amaebi: black fox (Default)
From: [personal profile] amaebi
Ah. I asked because an owl-obsessed nobleman is important in it. He would appreciate the POV expressed in the piece.

Date: 2023-02-17 05:01 pm (UTC)
puddleshark: (Default)
From: [personal profile] puddleshark
Laughed so hard at this.

Wonderful end to a very, very long week. Thank you.

Date: 2023-02-18 07:20 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] anna_wing
That's brilliant and should be on AO3 for posterity.

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asakiyume: created by the ninja girl (Default)
asakiyume

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