seriousness and silliness

[asakiyume]

"Their rapt immersion evokes a familiar resentment in me"
I remember the ninja girl telling me about a scene in Alison Bechdel's Fun Home, with everyone in the family in their own corner of the house, deeply engaged in their private pursuits. I remember at the time I felt implicated--she didn't mention it in an accusing way, just in passing--but still: it seemed to me even then something that we, as a family, were prone to.

So now I'm actually reading Fun Home (for book group), and I arrived at that part, and it's even more indicting:

It was a vicious circle, though. The more gratification we found in our own geniuses, the more isolated we grew.

Don't get me wrong: as a private person with lots of things I like doing alone, I'm not advocating lots of enforced togetherness and activities that are first choice for no one. Especially now: my kids are all out in the world or are very shortly going to be venturing out into the world--it's right for them to be doing their own thing. But Bechdel describes her natal family as like an artists' colony, and that's not what I want for when we do all come together. I guess where I'm at now is that we should be looking out at each other with interest and receptivity (and love)--that that's what a family does for its members.

1992, as seen from 1969
On a lighter note, the healing angel got a collection of Philip K. Dick's short stories for Christmas. I've never read any Philip K. Dick! So, we've been reading some of these stories after dinner. Last night we read The Electric Ant (1969). It's about a guy who discovers he's a robot and decides to tamper with his inner workings to try to alter his perceptions of reality . . . or perhaps reality itself, guys! Like psychedelic drug trips, only with computers.

His reality is mediated via a roll of punch-card magnetic tape. There are flying cars called squibs and video phones (that you dial, and that are stationary) called fones, and if you want to access a computer (a big giant UNIVAC-style thing), you have to dial it up--no personal computers. It all takes place in the far future of 1992.

Comments

[blairmacg.livejournal.com]

It can be so hard to balance space and privacy with connection and family!

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

You're a good mom!

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

I know that my family has a tendency to do the same thing: Mom sewing, Dad working on his boat, my brother studying, and me (at least theoretically) writing...

I suppose we could all do this in the same room, like a family in a Victorian novel where the house has only one heat source and no one wants to get farther away from it than absolutely necessary. But even in Victorian novels, they do seem to sit around the fire all pursuing their own pursuits.

[amaebi.livejournal.com]

I suspect that the question is: are you (we) all each other's respectful housemates?

Which is okay. It certainly beats familial demands that others act as henchpersons, servitors, admirers, inferiors, second of third bananas.

But how much better to be each other's supporters, encouragers, beta-readers-- and if it should fall out so, collaborators....

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

Being, as you are, a person with several personal interests that can be isolating, I find the balancing act of pursuing my pastimes and example-setting on my mind quite often of late. On the one hand, I would like the family to be together, engaged in fun, interesting, and if possible, communal things; but on the other hand, I just want some time alone to do what I want to do without constant interruptions.

Our craft room is turning out to be a good thing for us. Everyone has his or her own station comes and goes as pleases. It is pretty much a given that if J and I are working on something, the kids will go to their own stations and create, too. Because we are all in the same room, there is a lot of chatting and helping...and, yes, even interruptions. I'm enjoying it so far, though, finding it companionable, to borrow a word from another commenter. :)