at the intersection

[asakiyume]

At more and more intersections, especially ones with multiple lanes of traffic, there are people holding up signs saying they're homeless and hungry and asking if you can spare anything. When traffic is moving, cars are speeding by. When traffic is stopped, though, I guess some people must give, otherwise no one would bother asking.

I feel even more conflicted about this form of panhandling than I do about other forms because it seems dangerous, mainly for the person begging, but potentially for others too.

I've never seen anyone give anything to anyone, until yesterday. The light was red. We were in the left lane, right next to the panhandler, but were resolutely ignoring her. (Usually it's a older man there, but yesterday it was a young woman, all bundled up.) Then the car next to us in the right lane honked. The white-haired woman in that car rolled down her window and called to the panhandler, holding out a ziplock bag containing two water bottle and a sleeve of crackers. The panhandler crossed in front of our car to get to the woman with the bag, smiled and thanked her, and walked back to the island between the opposing lanes of traffic, all before the light turned.

That moment of exchange seemed just . . . good. Both women seemed happy. Putting everything else aside--and I know we can't really do that, but--if you ask, it must be consoling, heartening, warming, any number of other good things, to have someone respond. And the older woman didn't just happen to have that stuff in her car; she must have prepared the bag in advance. It must have been wonderful to help someone, even if just in a small way.

Comments

[pameladean]

I don't have anything to give these days, as a rule; but I did decide some time ago that people who are asking for money on the street may not really have a baby who needs diapers, or may not really need to get their car fixed so they can go to work, but they need SOMETHING, and the whole situation is too complicated for me to decide whether or not they should have it. It's like those teenagers who show up without costumes around nine in the evening on Halloween. They may not need candy, but they need something, and candy's what I have. When I had money, that was what I had. So I would give them some.

It's much more complicated in the middle of traffic just because of logistics.

P.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

The way you put it is just right. The people asking need something. The example of the teenagers on halloween is a great one. About the kids round here who do that, I figure, they need to be allowed to be kids still. They need to still be smiled at and indulged. It's hard to give that up and face teen angst, and after that, adulthood. (I mean, I know some people have hard childhoods and are happy to gain some autonomy and the ability to escape, but I'm talking about the majority of kids I see in my own neighborhood.)

[pameladean]

Thanks, it took me years to arrive at any kind of formulation of this very complex situation. (I really liked your original story; sorry I didn't say at once.)

I think your idea about the teenage kids in your neighborhood who show up on Halloween without costumes is probably more broadly applicable. I'm sure some of the ones who do that around here are also unhappy to lose that aspect of childhood, particularly the ones I recognize from earlier years when they did have costumes. Some of the others may not be able to afford much of a costume and are being defiant rather than deciding to put together something that isn't what they want. And sometimes one kid will have a domino, or whiskers drawn on their cheeks, a fancy hat or something of that sort.

P.