20 Questions

[asakiyume]

(inspired by a conversation I had with the Ninja Girl)

Q: Is it alive?

A: Yes

Q: Does it extend mycelium fingers across the earth?

A: No

Q: Does it hail from the benthic depths of the sea?

A: No

Q: Does it live in the terrestrial wilds?

A: Yes

Q: Is it solitary?

A: No

Q: Is it ancient?

A: Can you clarify? Is that a life span question? Or are you asking a species question? Or something else?

Q: Is it knowing?

A: That seems like a whole different question, and I have no idea how to answer. Knowing compared to what?

Q: Does it have feathers?

A: Yes

Q: Does it have wings?

A: Yes. That goes with the feathers, doesn’t it? I don’t know of anything with feathers and no wings.

Q: Are the wings large?

A: Yes

Q: Large and silent? So quiet that they steal sound from your ears?

A: Definitely not.

Q: And are its eyes so keen that from the sky it can note a whisker quiver?

A: Well, it does have good vision, but it’s not interested in whiskers.

Q: No matter how still a poor creature might try to be, holding its breath, concealed in the tall grasses?

A: Is that part of your last question?

Q: And are its talons steel traps and its beak a cruel hook?

A: No! It’s not a raptor, okay?

Q: And does it have the strength to steal a child from a garden, should it so choose?

A: Are you even listening to me?

Q: Is it known as a creature of omen?

A: I’m not … I’m not even …

Q: And do people tremble when they hear its call?

A: No, man. Look, it’s a goose, okay? A goose.

Q: And has it come among us now, the sovereign of night, the monarch of silence?

A: ….

Q: To rule us by beak and talon?

A: ….

Q: Then why are we playing children’s games? We must go fling ourselves in the dust before it and beg for a few more sweet hours of life! Let’s go!

Comments

[noachoc]

I like this a lot.

[teenybuffalo]

This is very funny and I burst out laughing. Don't change a thing -- it's perfect

[sovay]

This is wonderful.

[sartorias]

LOL!!!!

[minoanmiss]

bwee

[radiantfracture]

Absolutely love this.

[shewhomust]

Thank you!

[wayfaringwordhack]

This made me LOL. I had to call Sprout over to read it with her. In our family, we love to play "Guess What I am," and it always revolves around animals (every once in a while J has to throw in something else because he is bored with animals but the kids always drag it back to animals), and so this was just hilarious to us.

I can totally picture both participants. :D

[mrissa]

I mean, geese.

[amaebi]

:D

[mallorys_camera]

Love, love, love this! 😀

[larryhammer]

:points at icon:

[osprey_archer]

I love this! Love A getting increasingly weirded out as Q follows the path of the Terrifying Giant Sky Raptor with increasing fervor. Don't tell me it's a goose! I know it's a creature of portent, come to slaughter us all!

[heleninwales]

I loved that! I haven't played 20 questions for years, but this was a wonderful take on the game.

[amaebi]

Oh, for curiosity, have you read Mervyn Peake's Titus Groan?

[puddleshark]

Laughed so hard at this.

Wonderful end to a very, very long week. Thank you.

[anna_wing]

That's brilliant and should be on AO3 for posterity.